Disney Will Spare Us Another Snow White

Relativity’s Mirror Mirror, directed by Tarsem and starring Julia Roberts, cost approximately $85 million to make and has grossed nearly twice that thanks to a strong international showing. But here in the States, where Mirror Mirror only made $61 million, it’s considered a dud. So the pressure of this classic tale’s success now rests on the shoulders of Snow White and The Huntsman, which hits theaters on June 1.

However, Disney doesn’t really seem to care about Universal’s pending success or demise, because the House of Mouse is calling it quits on its own Snow White update, The Order of the Seven, which re-imagines Snow and the dwarves as samurais. Damn, I was hoping for unicorn cyborgs.

This film had Soairse Ronan aboard to play the lead female in a film that took place in Asia, with a samurai theme and an international cast. The project has been gestating at the studio for a decade… the picture imploded over a budget in the $150 million range or higher… (Via Deadline)

I don’t understand why this had to be a Snow White film. Why couldn’t it just be a story about a Japanese girl who is cast from her kingdom by an evil emperor, only to join up with a band of shamed or ronin samurai who train her to fight and arm her as they impossibly take on a massive army to overcome and save the kingdom and free the enslaved people?

Hold on, someone in a limousine just threw a brick with a note tied to it through my window.

Meanwhile, Universal is so hellbent on making us want to see Snow White and the Huntsman that the studio just released a new, unique interactive trailer for the film. I assume so you can watch Kristen Stewart bite her bottom lip from various angles.