New Star Trek Into Darkness Trailer: Listen to Bruce Greenwood, Kirk.

The new trailer for the JJ Abrams-directed, Kurtzman/Orci/Lindelof-scripted Star Trek Into Darkness just hit the web this morning (not to be confused with the shorter teaser from last week or the teaser teaser before that). Like the trailer for the first one, the whole first half is voice over from Bruce Greenwood, who tells Kirk that even though he might be King Sh*t of Huge Balls Mountain right now, there’s going to come a day when his manly hubris and scrotum-based chutzpah are going to get people killed. Or as Val Kilmer would say, “I don’t like you, ’cause your dangerous.” (*air bite*) Greenwood plays Christopher Pike in the movie, but I prefer to think of this advice as coming straight from Greenwood himself. Did you know he lost a front tooth in a bar fight? He also does a mean trumpeting elephant impression. And you know you can trust him because he’s Canadian.

“There’s greatness in you. But there’s not an ounce of humility. You think that you can’t make mistakes. But there’s gonna come a moment when you realize you’re wrong about that. And you’re gonna get yourself and everyone under your command killed.”

[Official Synopsis] When the crew of the Enterprise is called back home, they find an unstoppable force of terror from within their own organization has detonated the fleet and everything it stands for, leaving our world in a state of crisis. With a personal score to settle, Captain Kirk leads a manhunt to a war-zone world to capture a one man weapon of mass destruction. As our heroes are propelled into an epic chess game of life and death, love will be challenged, friendships will be torn apart, and sacrifices must be made for the only family Kirk has left: his crew.

There’s been some debate over which villain Benedict Cumberbatch is playing – Khan or Gary Mitchell or John Harrison? All sides made some valid points, but I’m hoping they can come to a consensus now that they’re stuffed inside my locker.

If you ask me, the antagonist seems to be Inception sounds.

Opens May 17th. HD available at Apple.