Someone sent this to me a few days ago and I held off on posting it because I figured it wasn’t time sensitive — A CLASSIC BLUNDER! Even a fool would know that only Steven Seagal exists outside the realm of space and time. A few other sites have posted it since then, but no matter: it was silly of me to try to claim ownership of the knowledge that Gary Busey once played a man who gets reincarnated as a dog in the 2003 movie Quigley. This information belongs to all of us, like the air, or the ocean, or mp3s. Gary probably spent years growling at coyotes to prepare for the role.
Archie is a rich practical joker, one week away from playing a CD-Rom that will change the lives of his trusted manager Dexter [Booger from Revenge of the Nerds] and other employees forever, when he is suddenly involved in a deadly accident. Archie quickly discovers that instead of entering Heaven’s pearly gates, he is being sent back to earth to clean up the mess he’s created. Since Archie has an absolute dislike for animals, especially dogs, it is quickly decided he return to earth as a dog. Not any dog, mind you, but a fluffy white Pomeranian named “Quigley.”
This time around (*RECORD SCRATCH*), a DOG cleans up after the HUMANs! Now look, I know I turn everything into a poop joke, but I don’t think I was reading too much into the synopsis here considering the trailer begins with an old timey smash zoom into a pile of dog poop. See for yourself:
Actual dialog: “I want everyone that owns a dog executed.”
[via FoundFootageFest]
Oddly enough, there are parallels here. For instance, here’s Ali G (Sacha Cohen) pitching a fake movie called “Hot Dog Cop” on his HBO show, about a police chief possessed by a dog:
And here’s Elijah Wood’s upcoming show on IFC, Wilfred, about a man who sees his dog as a human, while everyone else sees him as a dog (based on an earlier Australian short):