FilmDrunk

Gaspar Noe’s ‘Love’ Is Apparently A 3D Porno That Ejaculates At The Viewer

Gaspar Noe is a French director known for disturbing the hell out of people, with his movies Enter the Void (psychedelic drugs, death) and Irreversible (anal rape). Roger Ebert famously described Irreversible as “a movie so violent and cruel that most people will find it unwatchable.”

Noe is back in Cannes this year with Love, and the curse of every filmmaker labeled “shocking” is people forever expecting you to shock them. Hard to say whether Noe has fallen into that trap, but his latest is being described as a “3D porn movie” and it sounds like a doozy. Also, the poster is pretty awesome.

There’s also this much less SFW version.

Here’s what people are saying (spoilers, obviously):

Following a wordless prelude depicting a couple masturbating each other until the guy comes (conspicuously, of the many orgasms that follow, not a single one is by a girl)… [TheFilmStage]

Putting it in 3D (can Imax be far behind?) with one bodily discharge aimed directly at the audience, among other salacious scenes, didn’t even cause a ripple — at least with the jaded press. [Deadline]

She is giving him a hand job while he fingers her. The camera does not move. There is no cut to another shot. There is no music.  And then, in what will be a common occurrence, Murphy ejaculates in Electra’s hand. [Hitfix]

Now that’s how you do a “dramatic beat!” (*dodges tomato*) (*dodges used condom*)

“Jada,” I asked her, “how many cum shots do you remember from that movie?”

She thought about it for a second before venturing an answer: “Two.” I was surprised.

“There were at least three,” I said. “Maybe even four. Let’s count.”

“Okay. Well, there was the one from the opening scene. And the one where he shoots straight at the camera.”

“And then the other scene where he shoots straight at the camera.” [Vulture]

I liked Love better when it was called Love Actually. Also, I hope there’s a scene where Noe films the same ejaculation shot from different angles and at different speeds like the ending of The Fury.

One of the first extended sex scenes is between Murphy, Electra and Omni.  Murphy and Electra have seduced Omi, their new neighbor, to fulfill Electra’s biggest fantasy  (this is also where they discover Omi is only 16 to which Murphy exclaims, “I love Europe”).  Surprisingly, the three-way is shot from one angle with almost no cuts.  The song that plays over it includes a very long guitar solo that you’d expect from a porno made in the 1970’s. [Hitfix]

First scissoring in Blue is the Warmest Color, now 3D cum shots at the camera. It’s beautiful to see cinema evolve. It goes so much further than just showing the Dongs Going In. I truly wish I’d been able to attend the post-screening Q & A. “Mr. Noe, Mr. Noe! Hi, Vince Mancini from FilmDrunk here… I was just wondering, how did you light the cum? Did you experiment with different lighting rigs for the cum, and is lighting cum different when you’re shooting in 3D? What are some of the specific challenges vis a vis lighting cum, and what do you think you learned about lighting the cum from making this movie? Had you lit a lot of cum before this film? Did you experiment with different film stock? Were you going for more of a sharp, gritty cumshot, or did you want it to be more soft focus and sort of gooey around the edges? What did you want to express artistically, and which cumshot were you most satisfied with? How did–”

“Monsieur Mancini, please. Let Monsieur Noe speak, you haven’t taken a breath for 15 minutes.”

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