Here’s the three-boobed lady from Total Recall

One of the biggest controversies surrounding Len Wiseman’s Total Recall remake was whether it would include the three-boobed hooker like the original (yes, this is considered a controversy in the movie blog world. accept it and move on). Wiseman promised it would, which seemed specious considering the movie is rated PG-13, and bare breasts and violence cannot coexist in a PG-13 film, so sayeth the MPAA. Based on these pictures (of model Kaitlyn Leeb) from Comic-Con, it looks like they found a work around. Nipple-covering fabric. You’ll get a three-boobed hooker, just not her nipples (talk about a ripoff). The full picture is technically SFW, but I put it below, after the jump because there’s a lot of underboob, and even though they’re not even real boobs, but… well look, I’m not going to try to justify the retarded, puritanical policies of our bosses, but there you go.

You’ll never believe this, but those are actually prosthetics. Mmm, yeah, gurl, you make me wish I had three prosthetic hands. By the way, “what does the three-boobed lady from Total Recall look like?” is exactly the kind of question I expect to have answered by Comic-Con.

Anyway, yeah, there’s still a three-boobed hooker, but now you don’t get to see her nipples, another reason our kids are growing up to be a bunch of damned pansies. It’s a weird world they’re living in, where their moms probably all have sex tapes but they’re not allowed to see a nipple in an action movie.