Heroic lawsuit could halt Crow remake starring Brad Cooper

When it was announced last week that Relativity Media would be remaking The Crow, starring goth icon, uh… Bradley Cooper… I don’t think it’s an exaggeration to say that literally everyone thought it was the stupidest f*cking idea in the history of the world.  Well now, a reprieve is a possibility, thanks to an unlikely source: The Weinstein Company.  TWC says Relativity doesn’t own the rights, and therefore can’t sell them, as they’ve been attempting to do.

“If somebody tries to buy those rights other than the Weinsteins, those people will be simply buying a lawsuit,” said TWC attorney Bert Fields, who filed the suit in LA Superior Court.

THE CROW REMAKE?? CAW! CAW! BANG! F*CK! IT’S DEAD!

Dispute centers on a contract between TWC and Relativity — signed “as of March 25, 2009” — that the suit claims gives TWC exclusive rights to sequels, prequels, and remakes.
“Relativity CEO Ryan Kavanaugh decided that relativity would not perform that contract and will purport to sell TWC’s distribution rights to others here and overseas in will breach of contract,” the lawsuit states.

THAT SOUNDS TERRIBLE FOR RELATIVITY!  BUT WAIT! CAN I GET AN EQUALLY BIASED STATEMENT FROM THE OPPOSING SIDE!?

“This is yet another typical litigation stunt from the Weinsteins who have a long history of threatening law suits with the sole purpose of intimidation,” said Relativity in a statement. [Variety]

YOU AND YOUR JEW LAWYERS CAN’T INTIMIDATE US, WEINSTEIN!  YOU’LL HAVE TO PRY THIS BRAD COOPER CROW REMAKE FROM OUR COLD, DEAD HANDS!  OUR COMMITMENT TO TERRIBLE IDEAS IS UNMATCHED!

“But sometimes, there’s an idea so sh*tty, that a terrible sadness is carried with it, and the soul can’t rest.  Then, sometimes, just sometimes, the crow can bring its lawyers back to put the wrongs right.”  (*Stone Temple Pilots song fades in*)

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