In what can only be described as one of the most egregious cases of lede-burying in journalism history, the New York Times waited until the 10th paragraph of its report about the bi-coastal theme park war Universal Studios is waging against Disney to drop this bombshell on us: a Fast & Furious ride is coming to the Hollywood park at some point in 2015.
Also coming next year, the company said on Tuesday, will be “Fast & Furious – Supercharged,” a movie-thrill ride hybrid in which occupants of Universal’s famed back-lot trams will be encircled by 400-foot-long movie screens. “We’re going to make it feel like those trams are being pulled through the streets at speeds of over 100 miles per hour,” said Chick Russell, an executive producer for Universal Creative.
So, a few things:
- The timing on this is so weird, for a couple reasons. First of all, I can’t believe it took Universal so long to give us a Fast & Furious amusement park ride. The whole series is an amusement park ride. It was right in front their faces the whole time. Second, and more importantly, doing it now is strange because Paul Walker’s death has put the future of the franchise in a kind of limbo. Between those too things, even though I remain very excited about the general concept, this somehow feels both too late AND too soon.
- The executive producer of Universal Creative is named “Chick Russell.”
- I really hope there’s an animatronic Vin Diesel involved here somehow.
Take us home, Luda.