It's Time To Make Leprechaun In The Hood The Official St. Patrick's Day Movie

It seems like every holiday, however small, has an official movie memorializing it. Groundhog Day, of course, has the Bill Murray classic, Groundhog Day. Independence Day has Independence Day. Halloween has Halloween. And Christmas has Die Hard and that is absolutely not open for debate!
But poor St. Patrick’s Day. Despite centering around all the classic elements of a romp comedy—drinking excessive amounts of alcohol, parades, and puking said excessive amounts of alcohol—the holiday is missing its landmark movie. That’s why, if it pleases the film court, I move to nominate Leprechaun in the Hood as the essential, all-time classic St. Patrick’s Day movie.
Here’s why…

For starters, Leprechaun in the Hood is the best and most ridiculous movie of the Leprechaun series, beating out the original, starring a young Jennifer Aniston. It also beats a pair of pretty forgettable sequels, starring no one notable. It even beats Leprechaun 4: In Space, which sounds amazing but is actually thoroughly terrible aside from a scene where the Leprechaun gets shot with a laser that makes him huge and he comments on his massive leprechaun schlong. (Which doesn’t make any sense. Wouldn’t it still be tiny, relative to the rest of his body? That’s just basic biology, people.) Leprechaun in the Hood puts them all to shame. It was so good it spawned a sequel: Leprechaun: Back 2 tha Hood. Not as good as the original, but at least they adopted the proper hip hop spelling of tha title.
Leprechaun in the Hood is a movie about St. Patrick’s Day the way Reservoir Dogs is a movie about dogs. Aside from the Leprechaun, there is little to no resemblance of St. Patty’s Day or anything Irish. They could’ve at least thrown in some Irish soda bread or at very least, a guy with red hair.
You know that saying, “If you blink, you’ll miss it?” That is literally true of Coolio’s appearance in Leprechaun in the Hood. One shot. No dialogue. Just Coolio. Standing there. Making the above face. For 5.6 seconds. End scene. So that’s what I mean when I say Coolio is in it.
There aren’t a ton of “horror movie deaths” in Leprechaun in the Hood. It’s not a very gory movie. Most people die by regular ol’ gunfire. Boooorrrring! But there is one pretty awesome death that happens within the first five minutes where a guy gets killed with an afro pick to the throat.
The writers of this movie didn’t give Ice-T a whole lot to work with. His character, Mack Daddy, is a no-bullshit hip hop mogul who is trying to get his magic flute back from an evil leprechaun. Now, Ice could’ve just phoned in this performance and collected a paycheck. But a man who legally changes his name to a delicious beverage typically doesn’t half-ass things. He plays the role of Mack Daddy 100% seriously. No campy factor at all. It takes a total badass to give a deadpan delivery of the line, “Don’t fuckin’ play with me, where’s the goddamn flute?” and still be terrifying. But Ice pulls it off.
Leprechaun in the Hood is pretty damn racist. But at least it’s an equal opportunity offender. African Americans get it the worst though. The very first thing the Leprechaun says in the whole movie, after being released from captivity is, “Free at last, free at last, thank God almighty, free at last!” Wow. WOW. Quoting Martin Luther King’s famous “I Have A Dream” speech as a metaphor for escaping a leprechaun curse? Not sure that’s what Dr. King had in mind. And Asians don’t get off much easier. There is a running character, Mr. Chow, whose horribly dated Asian stereotype schtick comes just short of breaking into “Me so horny. Me love you long time.” Come to think of it, the only people who don’t get stereotyped in this movie are the Irish. Because there are no Irish people in this movie. Racism by exclusion.
There are multiple cross dressing scenes in this movie that have absolutely nothing to do with the plot. At one point, a massive transvestite character is introduced who, spoiler alert, fucks the Leprechaun. And later, at the climax of the movie, the characters conjure a genius plot to defeat the Leprechaun that for some reason, involves dressing up like women. Of course! The one known weakness of leprechauns: Men in drag.

The movie ends with the Leprechaun and his zombie fly girls rapping in a club and well, here are the lyrics:
I come from the place of the Irish Spring,
Dublin’s the place where I learned my thing.
From the Emerald Isle to your place in the hood,
I’m the man of green come to do no good.
Lep in the hood,
Come to do no good.
Lep in the hood,
Come to do no good.
Blunt is dope, this place is hype.
There’s a lassie, she’s just my type.
I hate to resort so soon to magic,
Haven’t been laid so long, it’s tragic.
I’m so bad, I’m good.
I’ll show you what to do so lend an ear,
Don’t worry little lassie, you’ve got nothing to fear.
Sit with a lad who’s lean and green,
And let me show you why I’m a love machine.
…come to do no good.
I’m a wee green guy, who’s new to town.
Show me what you do when you get down.
I’ll go up, you go down.
We’ll cause a scene.
We’ll all see your love green.
Lep in the hood,
Come to do no good.
Lep in the hood,
When we’re bad, we’re good.
From the Cliffs of Moher to your front door,
Better turn out the lights and pray some more.
Gonna party through the night until the dawn,
And you and I are gonna get it on.
Lep in the hood,
Come to do no good.
Lep in the hood,
Come to do no good.
Lep in the hood,
Come to do no good.
Lep in the hood,
Come to do no good.