Here on FilmDrunk, for quite some time we’ve been highlighting a phenomenon we’ve come to know as “the existential buffoon,” the kind of guy who espouses deep thoughts that seem a lot deeper if you’re kind of an idiot. I always thought of Will Smith and his obnoxious wiener kids more as the existential buffoon’s cousin, the milquetoast dildo, but more and more, especially with the now-infamous “patterns” interview, the Smith family has been edging into existential buffoon territory.
While Jaden is only 15, and it would probably be redundant to call a 15-year-old a buffoon, he seems well on his way, especially after I discovered his Jack Handy-esque Twitter account over the weekend:
I still can’t tell if it’s a certain kind of phone that makes you capitalize every word or whether that’s just a specific style choice. Either way, I like that it makes everything he says sound like the Memoirs of Nincompoop. “If Newborn Babies Could Tweet: The Jaden Smith Story.”
Needless to say, this is why you don’t stick your 12-year-old in movies and let him start his own clothing lines. That way, he can be an obnoxious, know-it-all teenager in the privacy of his own home without it showing up on Us Weekly. Jaden Smith is like Frankenstein’s monster, only built from fashion mags and reality TV instead of corpses.
(pic via Getty)