Taylor Kitsch was on the Today Show this morning promoting Disney’s John Carter, and after the usual boring talk about doing his own stunts and what length the fans like his hair (BUT WAIT, TELL US ABOUT YOUR WORKOUT REGIMEN!), they played a partial trailer, which you can watch below. Kitsch plays a Civil War veteran who gets transported to Mars and gets caught up in the conflicts there. Basically, it’s like Cowboys and Aliens on Mars, with a light queef-dusting of Avatar (and the ten previous movies Avatar implies), where the aliens all speak in British accents to let you know that they’re important.
With it being directed by Andrew Stanton, the guy who directed Wall E and Finding Nemo and wrote Toy Story (I’d probably quit at that point, knowing it could only go downhill from there), and adapted from the Edgar Rice Burroughs book series by Pulitzer Prize-winning author Michael Chabon, you have to assume (hope?) that there’s more than meets the eye here. Failing that, at least we can expect to see McNulty and Willem Dafoe in silly costumes, which is always nice.
“You… are… John Carter of Earth?”
“…Yes, ma’am”
Thanks for that, trailer editor guy. I’m not sure we would’ve picked up on that otherwise. IMPORTANT EXPOSITION!
At the very least, I think we can all agree that it’s high time for a moratorium on famous people named “Taylor.”