Apologies in advance, folks. Sometimes I get burned out on writing up movie news, and at times like these, I often find strange ways to entertain myself. Ways like, say, going through Kevin James’ back catalog and replacing him with the glib gorilla from the Zookeeper poster (who’s voiced by Nick Nolte in the movie, if you can believe that). I just saw the poster and felt like the gorilla stole the show, you know? I mean, you’d think a jungle-dwelling primate like a gorilla would be freaking out on a roller coaster ride, which is meant to be scary even to jaded humans who live in houses and drive cars after all, but judging by his facial expression, he’s calm as a Hindu cow. There’s something bewitching about him, this mysterious gorilla, like a furry Mona Lisa. Where did he come from? What’s he thinking? What other stuff does he like to do? So that’s why I went back through some of Kevin James’ most memorable posters and replaced him with the gorilla. They give his films a more thoughtful vibe, I feel. I thought about calling it “Everything’s more fun with monkeys!” in honor of The Hangover opening and the monkey in that, but then that opens up a whole debate over how gorillas are apes, not monkeys, and whether it’s okay to refer to an ape as a monkey because “monkey” is a funnier word, and blah blah blah. The point is, I made some pictures to entertain myself, and now I’m sharing them with you in lieu of doing actual work. I hope that’s okay. This is probably the dumbest thing that I’ll ever post. But no promises.
I’m so sorry for this.