Kung Fu, Knife Fights, Synth Pop, & Justice on the Streets of Orlando

From the folks who brought you The FP and Klown comes yet another batshit-looking release called Miami Connection. Boob gifs. Mullets. Kung Fu. Synth pop. Florida. This I promise you, this post has everything.

Drafthouse Films, the film distribution arm of the Alamo Drafthouse Cinema, announced today their acquisition of North American rights to explosive ’80s martial arts gem Miami Connection. Directed by 9th degree black belt philosopher/author/inspirational speaker Grandmaster Y.K. Kim, the film tells the story of fearless synth rock band Dragon Sound as they embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice in the streets of Orlando. Now in HD from elements sourced by the America Genre Film Archive (AGFA), Miami Connection will have its official re-launch screening at this year’s New York Asian Film Festival on Saturday, July 7th (with Grandmaster Kim in attendance) and will return to cinemas, home video and debut on digital platforms in Q4 of 2012.

I know I say this all the time, but you had me at “crime-crushing justice on the streets of Orlando.” And if that doesn’t convince you, perhaps this gif will:

…Ah thank ah luuhve you, bouncy 80s nightclub lady.

Take note, THIS is how you write a synopsis:

The year is 1987. Motorcycle ninjas tighten their grip on Florida’s narcotics trade, viciously annihilating anyone who dares move in on their turf. Multi-national martial arts rock band Dragon Sound have had enough, and embark on a roundhouse wreck-wave of crime-crushing justice. When not chasing beach bunnies or performing their hit song “Against the Ninja,” Mark (kung-fu master/inspirational speaker Y.K. Kim) and the boys are kicking and chopping at the drug world’s smelliest underbelly. It’ll take every ounce of their blood and courage, but Dragon Sounds can’t stop until they’ve completely destroyed the dealers, the drunk bikers, the kill-crazy ninjas, the middle-aged thugs, the “stupid cocaine”…and the entire MIAMI CONNECTION!!!

I have nothing to add to that. I’ve never seen anyone so beautifully exploit the metaphorical possibilities of a “smelly underbelly.”

Following Miami Connection‘s very limited theatrical and scarce VHS release in 1987, the film vanished into obscurity. Over two decades later, Alamo Drafthouse programmer Zack Carlson blindly purchased a rare 35mm print from a reluctant eBay seller for $50. A small test screening of the film’s first reel unveiled a relentless fury of ninjas, rock ‘n’ roll, lawless bikers and brutal knife fights. The crowd lost their minds. “We have multiple weekly 35mm exploitation series at the Drafthouse, and Miami Connection has repeatedly destroyed our audience in a more powerful way than anything else in the 15 years of our theater’s existence,” says Carlson. The film has since screened across the country at select festivals and repertory theaters, championed by critics such as Joel Modelo of Examiner.com, who proclaimed it a “hilariously rollicking good time.” [via Alamo’s press release]

Can you imagine giving up this gem for fifty bucks? I know I’ve only seen three minutes and a synopsis, but I feel confident saying that this is going to win the Oscar for Best Film Ever Made.