Man caught sucking teen’s toes in Walmart had a great pick-up line

Yes, there’s still movie news going around, but I’m posting this because it’s my favorite thing on the internet right now. Anyway, the story goes, if you’re one of those foot-fetish creepos like Quentin Tarantino, you should consider checking out a Walmart because there are apparently lots of gullible ladies there.

The 18-year-old girl said July 10 that Joey William Leaphart, of Langley [South Carolina], tricked her into letting him suck her toes inside the store, according to a Columbia County sheriff’s report.
Leaphart won’t be charged because the teen consented to the contact, sheriff’s Capt. Steve Morris said.
The girl said she was shopping when a man asked whether her toenails were painted. After replying yes and asking why he wanted to know, she was asked whether she had watched America’s Funniest Home Videos, according to the report.
The man told her he was with the show and said that if she complied with his requests, everything she purchased that day would be free. She reluctantly agreed to his taking a picture of her foot.

Holy sh*t, that is the saddest and most amazing fake name-drop I’ve ever heard. I didn’t even know that was still a show. “Seriously though, me and Tom Bergeron are totally bros.” Do you think there were others that he tried before settling on America’s Funniest Home Videos? Like, do you think there was ever a moment where he had a conversation with himself where he was like, “What the hell, it’s like these Walmart people haven’t even heard of Ira Glass!’

Leaphart guided her to an area behind a clothing rack, dropped to the floor, grabbed her ankle and said, “Don’t worry. I don’t bite.” He then started sucking her big toe. The girl screamed at him to stop and told him to leave.

“Don’t worry, baby, I don’t bite.” /immediately puts bodypart in his mouth. -Scumbag Foot Fetishist.

Before the man ran from the store, he told her, “It tasted so good, though,” according to the report.


Leaphart was previously arrested for similar incidents. He became a registered sex offender in Decem­ber 2000 when he pleaded guilty to performing a lewd act on a person under 16 for licking the toes of an 11-year-old girl. In 2002, a jury acquitted Leaphart of aggravated battery after a 22-year-old woman said he forced himself on her foot. [source]

But he won’t be charged this time, on account of bein’ sooo smoooth. I love how terrible this guy’s pitch was, and yet still worked. “Hello, ma’am? Yeah, hi, I’m with The View, and if you just do everything I say, everything you buy today is going to be free, would you like that? I bet you would. Now, if you could just step over to the side for me real quick and unbuckle your jeans so I can smell your panties? Greeeat, you’re doing great. Barbra and whatsherface and the rest of the gang’s gonna love this.”

[mugshot via]