In news that isn’t really much of a surprise as much as it’s just something that we wanted to hear for the sake of validating Sylvester Stallone’s hilarious zest for the evolution of absurdity, Entertainment Weekly reported on Friday that Mel Gibson has officially signed on to play the bad guy in The Expendables 3. Gibson joins Harrison Ford as the latest addition in the wake of Bruce Willis’ departure because he couldn’t have $4 million for four days of work. The nerve of those bastards to only offer $3 million to exchange lines with Arnold Schwarzenegger for a whopping two minutes.
Gibson was originally Stallone’s choice to direct the third film of the blockbuster action nostalgia franchise, but he passed on that in favor of a more modest starring role. And his confirmation isn’t the only big Expendables news either. Also joining Gibson, Ford, Jackie Chan, probably Steven Seagal, Ronda Rousey, Kellan Lutz (seriously), a fresh out of the clink Wesley Snipes, one of the Iron Man suits, Cookie Monster and Charlie Sheen’s character from Two and a Half Men in The Expendables 3 is Antonio Banderas.
I swear that I predicted his addition as the Spanish Expendable recently, but I can’t remember if it was on Twitter or in the comments of one of a post about The Expendables, so you’ll just have to take my word for it.
You will take my word for it.