Nic Cage tragically not dressed like a bear during domestic violence incident

Proving once again that he needs Matthew Vaughn or Werner Herzog around to tell him when to release the pigs, famous crazy person Nic Cage was arrested for domestic violence over the weekend after an argument with his wife at a New Orleans tattoo parlor.  You can see video of them arguing after the jump, but I have to warn you, it’s pretty boring for a guy we’re accustomed to seeing punch women out whilst dressed as a bear.  Understated too, as far as Cage performances go.  Cage was reportedly in town to shoot Medallion, which is the Nic Cagiest movie title of all time.  His mugshot is above.  What I wish was his mugshot is below.

Cage, according to witnesses, told shop employees he didn’t know where he lived. According to police, that was the topic he and his wife were arguing over when he allegedly grabbed her.
In the surveillance video, Cage can be seen with arms around two friends — and holding a clear plastic cup — as he enters the shop. Cage would walk out and back in and again … and that’s when he can be seen arguing with his wife and friends. His wife can be seen motioning to herself throughout the video — as if to say, “Listen to me” or “Come with me.”
Eventually Nic acquiesced and left the shop … only to later be arrested on charges of domestic violence and disturbing the peace. [TMZ]
[according to another report] The couple was in front of a home that Cage insisted they were renting, police said. When she said it wasn’t theirs, Cage grabbed her arm, according to a police news release.
Cage started hitting vehicles and tried to get into a taxi, police said. An officer saw that Cage was drunk and told him to get out of the cab. Cage then started yelling at the officer.
The actor was booked on charges of domestic abuse battery, disturbing the peace and public drunkenness. [AP]

So the guy was drunk in New Orleans, big deal.  I would hope cops would consider Nic Cage’s baseline level of energy and confusion when determining what exactly constitutes a “domestic disturbance.”  Maybe she was in grave danger and Nic Cage had the secret that could save her, but no one would believe him. Did you ever think about that?

Meanwhile,  and this is not a joke, Cage was released on $11,000 bail, which was allegedly posted by Dog the Bounty Hunter. It’s hard to know what to take away from a story as surreal as that, but I’d say that it means Nic Cage must really be broke. Because if I had any money at all, the very first thing I’d do with it is buy my way out of a sermon on the dangers of alcoholism from a tiny born-again Christian with feathered hair who dresses like the Ultimate Warrior.

Debby Wong /