Rated DGI: ‘Nymphomaniac’ Releases a Sexy New Clip and Sex Pictures

Now that we know we’ll be able to see Lars Von Trier’s comedy porn semen drool epic Nymphomaniac by March (full-length red-band trailer here), the video chapters they’ve been releasing are even more exciting. In Chapter 7, “The Mirror,” Joe (Charlotte Gainsbourg) tries to rid herself of her sexuality, which turns out to be as hard as kicking heroin because she’s such an insatiable sex machine, dying to have her every orifice filled. DONGS GOING IN! DONGS GOING IN! DONGS GOING IN!

Chapter 7: The Mirror

The image you see in a mirror will at first glance seem like an exact replica of the object you’re looking at. However, this is in fact false, as the object will always be a mirrored, and thus flawed, version of the original object.

Joe tries to rid herself of her sexuality.

I really need to get one of those foam number one fingers to cheer for the Dongs Going In on opening day. Plus a codpiece and a boombox blasting Rammstein. Of course, it’s hitting VOD before theaters, so opening day will be at my own house, but I’m sure my roommate would appreciate my enthusiasm. Yes, I mean mom. New clip below, new (mostly SFW – no nudity) pictures on following pages.

See? Even sex-crazed Danes buy IKEA mattresses. I believe that’s the Jomna?

As for the rest of the clip, I’m a little disappointed there wasn’t a shot of her morosely discarding her anal beads. “Goodbye, old friend.”

That actress is Stacy Martin as young Joe. I kind of feel like they stole the concept of Blowjob Stacey from FilmDrunk (RIP).

Photos by Christian Geisnaes, courtesy of Magnolia Pictures

AND they stole the concept of “Smell the Glove” from Spinal Tap.

Two guys just out of frame both had a loose tooth, so she’s just helping them out. Wait, is that a phone book under there?? I know this game, it’s where you have to call whoever the wet spot lands on.

I definitely think the best punishment for infidelity is having to share a small couch with your wife and mistress.

I can’t see Shia’s face in this without hearing “Good job, Liz!” over and over in my head. His agent must have compromising photos of everyone in Hollywood.

This whole project reminds me of trying to beat off to HBO Real Sex back in the day, and trying to time your orgasm so it didn’t happen while the weird old hippie lady was onscreen.

Ah yes, the Vulva Monologs. I like how they make the O in Nymphomaniac in vulva. It’d be cool if they made the I into a dong.

“You sure you guys want to do this? That’s a lot of dairy to eat right before you’re gonna bone.”

With her fake bruises and striped pajamas, I like to think they’re role playing “SS guard and Auschwitz inmate.” So kinky.