Bradley Cooper & Christian Bale are lookin' pretty slick in American Hustle

Bradley Cooper and Christian Bale are looking like a couple of righteous dudes, just trying to get some stank on their hangdowns in these new pictures from American Hustle (courtesy of USA Today). Up for a beard ride, ladies? I’m especially impressed by Bale – only a real sex panther could still look that greasy in a cravat, I can practically smell the Aqua Velva.

Directed by David O. Russell after back to back Oscar nominations (for Silver Linings in 2012 and The Fighter in 2010), American Hustle tells a fictionalized version of the FBI’s Abscam operation.

Christian Bale stars as Irving Rosenfeld, a brilliant Bronx con-man whose specialization in stolen art catches the attention of unhinged FBI agent Richie DiMaso (Bradley Cooper). (Those tight curls are “not a perm, just for the record,” says Russell, noting Cooper’s character emulates a style popularized by ’70s professional baseball players.)

DiMaso forces Irving and his British lover/accomplice Sydney (Amy Adams) into a web of New Jersey power brokers and the Mafia. Jennifer Lawrence is on hand as Irving’s loose cannon of a Long Island house wife, Rosalyn, who threatens the entire operation. “Everybody gets to do something we’ve never seen before,” says Russell. “That’s exciting to me.” [USA Today]

It also stars Jeremy Renner as a New Jersey mayor, and there’s another shot of Amy Adams below. Between the cast and the director, American Hustle, which is set to open in December, rates a big “yes, please” from me.

My only question: how is Brad Cooper’s hair not a perm? Has he been flat-ironing all these years? Step out of the closet, Cooper, we be-Jew-fro’d caucasion gentiles need all the frizzy sex symbols we can get, especially since Justin Timberlake decided to go shaved. I guess I have to take David O. Russell at his word, but I have a hard time believing that Cooper has been an Uncle Justin since 1999, when he was clearly rocking the straight look.

Nice cleavage! Man, these pictures make me want to snort coke out of a pinky ring. Or drink Cutty out of a lady’s shoe.