Planned Parenthood Declined A $500,000 Donation From Tucker Max

When you spend the better part of a decade busting your ass to establish a reputation as the world’s greatest storytelling womanizer, you shouldn’t be too shocked when it sticks with you long after you’d like it to. At least that’s the lesson that frat god Tucker Max is learning now that he’s kind of, sort of trying to do something nice with the wealth and fame that he’s achieved since writing I Hope They Serve Beer in Hell.

Max contacted his friend and Forbes contributor Ryan Holiday recently, asking for advice on a charity that he could donate $500,000 to, in order to both reduce his tax burden and promote his latest books. Holiday suggested that Max donate the money to Planned Parenthood in Texas to have a clinic named after himself. And that’s when the joke machine exploded.

At first Planned Parenthood was on board and grateful, but then someone apparently taught them how to use Google and they called and offered Max and Holiday a hearty, “Thanks but no thanks, broseph.”

Planned Parenthood: “We have concerns about accepting this donation, we understand what you write is satire, but we’re worried about the perception.”
Tucker: “I don’t write satire. I write about my life.”
PP: “Yes, well, we’re concerned about the perception of your writing.”
Tucker: “Perception? You mean you have a problem with me personally, or you’re worried what OTHER people think?”
PP: “I guess it’s the way you write about women.”
Tucker “What do you mean? I’m not negative towards women in my writing. Women love my writing; more than half my fans are female.”
PP: “Well…there are certain jokes you make we feel can be perceived in a certain negative manner.”
Tucker: “So because I made a fat girl joke you won’t accept a $500,000 donation?”
PP: “I wouldn’t characterize it that way.”
Tucker: “How would you then? I’m listening and I want your best quote.”
PP: “We don’t feel it would be appropriate, given Planned Parenthood’s mission and your body of work, to accept your donation.”
Tucker: “What? I thought Planned Parenthood’s mission was about helping women, not passing judgment on humor.”

Max, 35, has apparently been on a bit of a “growing up” kick, as he admitted back in January that he’s seen a therapist in the past to help him mature emotionally and get past the way he’s previously acted toward women. And he made one hell of a career out of being a complete dick to girls and reveling in the attention that millions of p*ssy-starved, finger-sniffing high school and college boys paid to him, his best-selling book and eventually the terrible movie that was produced from it. So he shouldn’t be shocked, surprised or even raise his eyebrow in the slightest because his reputation is sticking with him, specifically when he’s on this so-called “PR rehabilitation” and especially not when he also released two other books, Sloppy Seconds: The Tucker Max Leftovers and Hilarity Ensues, both sequels to his previous works.

HOWEVER, he does have a point. Love him or hate him, Max has never made it a secret that he’s a humorist, and at least he’s open about having regrets about the way he’s acted in the past. I guess it’s the right of the folks at Planned Parenthood to take money from whoever they want, but beggars shouldn’t really be choosers just because they disagreed with a dude’s quest to sleep with a little person.

[Vince’s Note: My humble opinion, if you enjoy tax-exempt status as a charity, you shouldn’t be able to turn down donations. Especially not when your reasoning is “hmm, too bro-y.”]