Porn Stars Name The Most Bangable Republican Presidential Candidate

In this week’s edition of Woodrocket.com’s Ask A Porn Star series (see the uncensored version here), a handful of sex positive ladies answer the question: “who is the most f*ckable Republican candidate?”

Move over, Missouri, we have a new bellwether.

Respondents included Kayla-Jane Danger, Kenzie Taylor, Kassondra Raine, Jenna J. Ross, Daisy Monroe, Kylie Kalvetti, and Sheridan Love. Their answers were a little bit of everything:

Kayla-Jane Danger: “Definitely not Jeb Bush or Chris Christie. That’s just… no.”

Kassondra Raine: “Hmm, Rand Paul. Maybe? Yep, he wins.”

Jenna J. Ross: “Marco Rubio. Out of all of them, he seems the least *visibly* offensive.”

Sadly, more than one said Donald Trump (currently leading the polls, believe it or not).

Kenzie Taylor: “I would probably go with Donald Trump, honestly, and this is not based on looks. This is based on, he’s a very powerful person. And he’s a billionaire, so we would probably have sex in the most prestige place you could ever think of.”

See, this is why Trump’s leading in the polls. People actually buy the reality show bullsh*t he’s always saying. No way is that dude a billionaire. And his idea of a “prestige place” is surely a tacky, wannabe Bellagio room with his name in giant gold letters. Also, this is a man who eats pizza with a knife and fork (from a sh*tty chain, no less, despite being in New York). A man who eats pizza with a knife and fork is definitely terrible in bed, and probably has weak sperm. (Proof of Donald Trump’s weak sperm).

Though I guess it’s good that she didn’t choose him for looks. It’d be weird if someone was really turned on by the idea of an orangutan with a sloth’s face. In any case, if I take solace in any part of this, it’s that the redhead porn star chose the candidate with curly hair (call me).

For more always free episodes of Ask A Porn Star, check out Woodrocket.com (link NSFW).