Knives out! A Ronald Reagan biopic in the works.

Senior Editor
09.08.10 25 Comments

Oh boy.  As if the two sides of the political spectrum in this country weren’t already fighting about enough stupid sh*t that doesn’t matter, there may soon be a biopic about Ronald Reagan.  Pinko pussies hate him because they think he was a conservative.  Tea party rednecks love him because he wore cowboy hats (I call it the Kenny Chesney effect).  

Tear down this block quote, HollywoodReporter:

The feature film, titled “Reagan” and sporting a $30 million production budget, is set for release late next year and will be based on two best-selling biographies of the 40th U.S. president by Paul Kengor: “The Crusader” and “God and Ronald Reagan.” 

I’m going to go out on a limb and assume a book called “The Crusader” was largely positive on the guy.  I’ve heard he personally took down the Berlin wall with lightning bolts from his wiener.  True story.  Part two tells the story of how he borrowed the lightning from Jesus.

Less-than-reverential treatment has been done before, as in the 2003 miniseries “The Reagans.” That will have little in common with the feature film, which begins with the 1981 assassination attempt and tells Reagan’s story through flashbacks and flash-forwards. The “Reagans” miniseries starred James Brolin as the president and was supposed to air on CBS until a controversy erupted over alleged left-wing bias and it was relegated to sibling premium cable outlet Showtime. It was seen by 1.2 million people.

You have to admit, hiring Mr. Barbra Streisand to play Ronald Reagan is kind of like getting Michelle Bachman’s husband to play Dennis Kucinich when it comes to pissing people off.  Aw yeah, I just went Rachel Maddow on your asses (*smiles smugly, smells own farts*).  

“Only in Hollywood could you make an insulting, condescending movie about a much-loved historical figure, hire an actor who loathes the man, watch it flop and then somehow conclude that Americans don’t want to see a movie about him,” Producer Mark Joseph [who bought the rights to the books] said. “I watched Americans line up and wait for 10 hours for the simple privilege of passing by his closed casket. They love this man.”

Said Joseph: “This is a great story. I’m just glad no one else in Hollywood thinks so, or they’d have made this film by now.”

Translation: There’s a huge market out there dying for a certain version of Ronald Reagan.  I plan to sell that version to them and use the money to buy a yacht and a monkey butler whom I will name “Ronald Reagan.”

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