It’s too bad they don’t award an Oscar for the movie that most clearly conveys its premise in a 60-second trailer, because Sand Sharks, starring Brooke Hogan, seems like a shoo in.
CRYING GIRL:
Something ate my boyfriend! It’s a shark swimming in the sand!
SKEPTICAL POLICEMAN:
Sharks can’t swim in the sand!
GIRL:
I saw it!
INCREDULOUS BYSTANDER:
It… It moved through the sand like it was water!
CUT TO:
MARINE BIOLOGIST(?) BROOKE HOGAN:
It’s a prehistoric sand tiger shark. A predator that has evolved to wear sand like a coat and travel through it like water.
So the sand is a coat that it wears while traveling through more coats that are also like water. Gotcha. I feel like I already know so much!
—
Nice camera angle. It was also nice of them to cut right before she turns all the way around. That way it saves you the trauma of that big reveal where you go, “Ooh, a girl’s ass! …GAHHH! BROOKE HOGAN!”
Thanks to busty marine biologist Marc for the tip.