The AVN Awards Nominees Reveal It Was A Really Lousy Year For Sex Tapes

No matter how hard she tried to pretend she was more than just an amateur porn star, Farrah Abraham couldn’t escape the stink of her fake sex tape in 2014. After she took a vow of celibacy, launched her own yogurt line, published a romance/erotic novel and even tried to pretend that she was a pop star in the making, the former Teen Mom star eventually gave in to her destiny to perform in the nude. She made appearances at strip clubs (which she called “research” but whatever) and then destroyed Frozen forever by dressing as Elsa while pushing her latest vagina mold on her Twitter followers. And now she could very well be taking home the award for Best Celebrity Sex Tape at the 2015 AVN Awards in January.

Abraham is sadly the biggest name in the category this year, as she’s up against a new mom/Juggalo feces target and three women that I’ve never heard of for the title of Best Celebrity Sex Tape. It might be time to retire this AVN Award, folks.

Best Celebrity Sex Tape

Farrah 2: Backdoor & More, Vivid Celeb
Mimi & Nikko: Scandal in Atlanta, Vivid Celeb
Myla Sinanaj: The Anti-Kim XXX, Vivid Celeb
Tami Erin: The Sex Tape, Zero Tolerance Entertainment
Tila Tequila 2: Backdoored & Squirting, Vivid Celeb

I wish I didn’t know who any of these women are, but it’s hard not to pay attention to Abraham when she’s waving her plaster mold all over Twitter, and Tila Tequila when she’s being absolutely insane on Facebook. I’m no expert, but I have to imagine this is going to be a battle for these women to prove that they’ll show up to the event in Las Vegas and create a slight social media buzz.

In the end, Abraham is the clear winner, not because her “sex tape” was better or she offered her daughter some sex tape advice in the worst parenting moment of 2014, but because she’s the only woman who qualifies as a “celebrity” on this sad list.