What an incredible time we’re living in when a rapper can cut his dick off and jump off a balcony during a suicide attempt and barely three months later everyone has all but forgotten about it. For any previous generation, that’d be like the Kennedy assassination. Nonetheless, that’s exactly what happened to “Wu Tang affiliated rapper” (start your own Wu Tang franchise today!) Christ Bearer (aka Andre… Johnson), who recently assured TMZ photographers that his wiener still works. Hey, cool story, man, but how about your brain? And more important question, do you still have access to knives?
First, a little refresher:
Johnson told TMZ last month that he was smoking weed and reading a book about monks and vasectomies right before the self-castration. E! Online reported that the rapper cut off the tip of his penis first, then removed his testicles and the remainder of his genitalia. Johnson was high on PCP at the time, E! reported, citing police sources. When people from the building ran downstairs to see if Johnson had survived the fall, they said he was already on his feet screaming. He was found in critical condition before he was rushed to Cedars-Sinai Medical Center.
The organs were recovered upstairs inside the apartment. [DailyMail]
Amazingly, doctors were apparently able to reattach the organ, and apparently it still works. So much so that Mr. Bearer (shocking that a guy who sexually mutilates likes to rep JC) has offered to do a porno to prove it. Even crazier, Vivid may take him up on it. And I think. To. Myseeeeelf, what a wonder-ful wooooooorld…
A very fired up Bearer was out in front his barber shop in Long Beach yesterday — and told TMZ how his genitals recovered from the self-inflicted butchering back in April.
TMZ: Does it work?
Bearer: “Does it work?!? Can Chris Brown dance? Can Kanye West rant? Can Jay Z fight off a trick?”And get this … Christ Bearer may get his porno wish — we spoke to Vivid honcho Steve Hirsch who tells us he’s definitely interested … but wants to check out the goods before he makes an offer.
I like to think TMZ has a blinking red phone they use whenever they need to get Steve Hirsch involved in some gossip story. Would Vivid make a porno with someone in the headlines?!? I’ll save you the time, the answer is yes. It’s always yes. It’s not the New York Ballet, there isn’t that much vetting. If more than 20 people know your name, yes, people will watch you f*ck, and that’s assuming you’re ugly.
It’s just a shame that kids might see this and start cutting their dicks off and jumping off balconies thinking it’s an easy path to porn stardom. Don’t do it, kid. If cutting your dick off and jumping out a window is cool, I’m Miles Davis.
[protected-iframe id=”b364fb34e481982277a49ab2346747aa-60970621-60061059″ info=”https://cdnapi.kaltura.com/index.php/kwidget/wid/0_37ypa4sc/uiconf_id/6740162/st_cache/85870?&” width=”640″ height=”360″]