This Week In Posters: Horses, Blake Lively, And The Rock

NOTE: Yes, I have formatted this post as a slideshow. Not because I’m trying to squeeze more page views out of you, this particular format just seems to work best for these posts. If you prefer a single page version, you can view that here.

Yes, This Week in Posters is back. Try to control your excitement. We begin this week with Horses, which appears to be aimed at viewers who loved War Horse, but thought it could do with less war. One of the reasons I don’t get horse people is that there seems to be a weird sexual component to loving horses. Like, I’m a dog freak, but if you wanted to sell me a dog movie, you wouldn’t need some dog running through a dewy meadow with it’s fur backlit by a morning sunrise like Fabio on the cover of a romance novel. In fact you’d be better off making a Vine video of a pug with a KFC bucket stuck on his head. Horse people, I can never tell if they want to pet the thing or get f*cked by it.

This one seems to be aimed squarely at the girl from Tom Petty’s “Free Fallin.” She loves horses, and her boyfriend too… Is that how it goes? I know she loves horses, Jesus, America, and her boyfriend, but I can never remember in which order. Story of my life.

This is the first of nine posters for The Age of Adaline (don’t worry, I won’t include all of them). They all star Blake Lively in different outfits!

I guess the point is that the film is supposed to be about time travel, but unless you look closely, it just looks like the calendar from Zoolander, where it’s not a movie so much as Blake Lively with the same never-changing facial expression in a series of different outfits.

It’s 1931 now, and guess what! Blake Lively is still pretty!

Quicksilver is so fast he always has time to eye f*ck you. Is anyone else surprised that Fox and Marvel managed to not get into a protracted legal battle over Quicksilver being part of both The X-Men and The Avengers?