FilmDrunk

This Week In Posters: The ’90s Are Back, And So Is Madea

This week in This Week in Posters begins with… holy hell, A Madea Halloween! Man, no one knows how to keep making money off something like Tyler Perry. This is the ninth Madea movie, by the way. Even Ernest P. Worrell only had nine Ernest movies (10 if you count Dr. Otto and the Riddle of the Gloom Beam) and the last four of those were direct to video. That’s how good Tyler Perry is at flogging the same character, better than f*cking Ernest. Not to mention, Jim Varney wasn’t getting other roles in regular movies the whole time. He had to be Ernest for the rest of his life.

Also, “Hellurween?” No one talks like that. Tyler Perry invented an entire vernacular.

With everything we have to worry about now — plagiarism, GMOs, Zika virus, Donald Trump as president, Big Bang Theory — I thought the one thing we could check off the list was the whole Cold War, mutually-assured-destruction thing. Apparently not. That too?? Damn you, Eric Schlosser! Can’t you let me enjoy my life? Oh well, maybe the bombs only affect people who can afford nice brick houses with two-car garages. Those of us who keep a bucket handy in case our roommate is in the bathroom when we have to pee are safe. “Oh don’t worry about me, I’ll be in my bunker of poverty.”

They did a great job evoking a realistic “sullen teen” with this picture and a great tagline. I mean just compare this with the overstyled turds on that Middle School poster. Wait a second, is she wearing a Big Lebowski sweatshirt? There are 16-year-olds into The Big Lebowski? Maybe I’ve been wrong about these “teens” all along.

Paul Feig shared this Ghostbusters poster the other day. It’s definitely the one they look most badassest in. I thought it was a lot better movie when it was a comedy than when it was a badass franchise action dealy, but I’ll stop there because the world seems pretty stocked on Ghostbusters opinions already.

“Based on the thriller that shocked the world.” That’s weird, most of the people I saw reading this were hanging out by the pool looking chill as hell.

I kind of feel bad for Charlie Day. Every other character in this Sundance-y dramedy-looking thing gets to react to another human person. Meanwhile, Charlie is just up there in the corner all by himself going “Is this face funny enough? Should I go bigger? What mood am I even in right now and why? Is everything I do just a joke to you? What if I was feeling real pain?”

Hope is good. And the faces in the letters is sort of a good idea, I guess. But maybe make them bigger next time? I can’t tell what this is about.

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