This Week in Posters & Stills: 'Doggie B' Looks Incredible

Every once in a while, you’ll get a PR email that’s actually worth reading. A good way to tell if one is worth reading? It has a picture of a dog in sunglasses laying down phat beats in it.

On behalf of Phase 4 Films, we are pleased to announce the release of the ALL NEW family comedy DOGGIE B! The film tells the “tail” of a devoted pup and his teenage owner as they enter a Dog Dancing Championship in order to save their Uncle Peter’s dance studio. DOGGIE B opens in theatres on August 31st and arrives on VOD September 7th.

SAVING THE DOGGIE REC CENTER! WITH DOGGIE BREAK DANCING! Is there any way this could be less than spectacular?

When aspiring vet Cassie finds out that her Uncle Peter’s dog dancing studio is in danger of closing [PLAUSIBLE. -Ed], she enters her devoted pup Pijo in the Dog Dancing Championships [ALSO PLAUSIBLE. -Ed]. Standing between the grand prize and the glory is ten-time champion Gertrude and her dancing canine Chaos, who will stop at nothing to win. With the help of family and friends, Cassie and Pijo lace up all six dancing shoes, raise the woof, and take on the competition tail on.

RAISE THE WOOF! Man, this might be the best day of my life. My only concern is that the dog with the mini fedora on the right kind of reminds me of Danny Masterson. Wait, did they say six dancing shoes? What does that even mean? They’re dogs, right, not mosquitoes? I was in for saving the rec center, but if this involves some kind of sick, doggie centipede, count me out. Anyway, the trailer is below. Does it live up to the synopsis? Let’s put it this way: It has its own theme song, a lá Ghostbusters.

See this on acid. It will blow your mind.

CLICK ON, FOR THE REST OF THIS WEEK’S POSTERS! We’ve got Kevin James MMA fighting, Schwarzenegger being Schwarzeneggry, and new posters from Seven Psychopaths, whose marketing department continues to do a terrible job selling a film that sells itself.

Yes, Brandon Cronenberg is David Cronenberg’s son.

After becoming infected with the virus that killed superstar Hannah Geist, Syd March must unravel the mystery surrounding her death to save his own life.

Huh. The only thing I really get from the poster is that I’ll be using my sleeve to wipe off the rim of every glass I drink from for the next week. GET AWAY FROM ME, YOU’RE ALL COVERED WITH COLD SORES!

Aw, come on, Cirque Du Soleil. As Patton Oswalt once said, “everything in Cirque Du Soleil is wet and gay and French and on fire.” With that in mind, an upside down umbrella floating through a mist of space farts seems a bit tame.

Here’s the poster for the don’t-call-it-a-remake Dredd movie. Not that I blame them for not wanting to be associated with the Stallone version. Anyway, the poster is nicely minimalist, but it seems like every piece of marketing for this just screams “LOOK AT HIS HELMET! THIS MOVIE IS GOING TO BE AWESOME, I MEAN HAVE YOU SEEN HIS HELMET? HE WEARS A CRAZY HELMET!”

Not going to lie though, I do enjoy a crazy helmet.

Very close to a Dreamworks Face there, isn’t it? I guess that was always sort of Kevin James’ thing.

It seems weird that they’re not playing up the part about him being a cage fighter. I guess they figured if it ain’t broke, don’t fix it.