Twilight: Our Long National Nightmare Is Almost Over

Breaking Dawn is a batsh*t insane book, so it shouldn’t be surprising that fans of it were also the first ones to line up for San Diego Comic Con 2011 just to get a glimpse at the actors and see two boring scenes from The Twilight Saga: Breaking Dawn, Part 1 (AKA Snorkels the Vampire Fetus).  The good news is part 2 (in theaters November 2012) is probably the last movie in the theaters, at least until Summit decides to reboot it with even younger, paler leads.

As far as they know, Summit has no plans for further “Twilight” movies and/or spinoffs.“I think Stephenie [Meyer] is done with us,” Elizabeth Reaser, who plays Esme Cullen in the film saga said, referring to the author of the book series. [ThePlaylist]

Hallelujah.  So what other pearls of wisdom did the cast throw out to the 6,500 or so twihards in attendance at Hall H?

What was the cast’s reaction to the birth scene when they read it? Stewart: “I thought it was so cool; we really tried to go as hardcore as we could.” [Deadline]

Yeah, hardc0re!  *chugs Mountain Dew Code Red, crushes can on forehead, uses teeth to perform vampire baby c-section*

Bella has “always been able to fight harder than other humans because of a little bit of that [indicates Rob] in her – literally!” She realizes double entendre, laughs. [Deadline]

That’s what she said.

Kristen Stewart on telling a far-fetched and fantastic story: “This film feels the most real, in terms of what can really happen in your life.”  [Hollywood]

Yes, you could totally marry a vampire who’s over 100 years old and still a virgin, then have your vampire baby claw its way out of your teenaged womb, and then an adult werewolf who looks like a llama falls madly in love with that baby.  It’s a tale as old as time. FMLIT.

Taylor Lautner: “My fight scenes – I’m usually a wolf (laughs). It’s a bummer because I wish I could do what my CGI wolf does”  [Hollywood]

Have sex with dudes?  Oh, wait, you don’t have to be a wolf to do that. I knew that (biblically).

Anyway, they also showed a couple scenes to the crowd:

In one, Lautner gets into a tense confrontation with his former wolfpack, and in the second, K-Stew and R-Pattz arrive at their honeymoon suite and stare meaningfully at each other over the bed before deciding to go for a nude moonlight swim (the sight of Pattinson’s back with no shirt on sent the hall into delirium). [Blastr]

Yes.  They went crazy over the sight of a dude’s bare back [Lautner can relate].  Somebody please get these girls some sparkly dildos.