I don’t know who put this together or how long it’s been going around, but after the jump I’ve got a three-minute edit of some of Arnold Schwarzenegger and director John Milius’s commentary on the 1982 version of Conan the Barbarian. Long story short, it is a joy. It’s hard to explain what makes it so much fun to watch, other than to say that almost everything Arnold Schwarzenegger says is inexplicably hilarious. If he hadn’t spent the last decade jizzing inside every Mexican that blipped onto his heat vision like the Predator, he might be president by now. The president of hilarious foreigners.
“All of a sudden he’s… he has to listen to all the ‘women problems.’ Even then in these prehistoric times, vomen vere still into jewelry.”
“Does za kid vear lipstick, or vhat is that? …That’s me vhen I was young.”
“I vas getting laid a lot in ziss, huh? It vas vonderful.”
Oh, Arnold. I love that philanderous, mulatto-ass loving jizz enthusiast.
“When I am in the gym lifting veights I am coming. Every morning ven I sit in za make-up chair I am coming. Every day on za set ven I see za young boy viss lipstick playing za younger version of me I am coming. Can you imagine za heaven I am in?”
(If you remember, Milius was the Coen Brothers’ inspiration for Walter Sobchak in Big Lebowski).
[thanks for the tip, this guy]