Opening Everywhere: Pompeii, 3 Days to Kill, The Wind Rises
Opening Somewhere: In Secret
FilmDrunk Suggests: Since Vince is still away on vacation, traipsing across Europe like he’s a less sophisticated version of Luke Walton, I’m going to let you in on a little secret – the reason that he’s there is because he wanted to take the Love Actually tour. It’s his favorite movie, so he wanted to see all of the places that the characters kissed in the movie, leading up to him standing outside of a brothel in Amsterdam with a bunch of signs that he’s using to barter for sex. He’s nothing if not romantic.
Pompeii
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 31% critics, 94% audience
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
If there were a hint of a sense of play or humor in the filmmaking, beyond a briefly amusing moment of comeuppance for a foppish slaveowner, Pompeii might be a fun February diversion instead of a dull, eye-rolling slog. – Ian Buckwalter, NPR
Harington transformed his body for the role, but here’s the real disaster: His startlingly defined six-pack abs are the most memorable part of his character. – Stephanie Merry, Washington Post
Armchair Analysis: I can’t believe this movie didn’t come out within a few months after 300 to really capitalize on the period. I feel like now it’s just kind of getting in on the 300 sequel’s weak tails. What’s that movie’s name again? 301? 300: Rise of the Abs? 300: This Time We Don’t Make the Woman a Meaningless Slut? I’ve really missed my calling in movie marketing.
3 Days to Kill
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 24% critics, 94% audience
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
Long before Kevin Costner is demanding pasta sauce info at gunpoint from a terrified Italian hostage in 3 Days to Kill, it’s obvious no one is following any kind of coherent recipe for this movie. – Peter Howell, Toronto Star
The result is a little like baby bear’s porridge, neither all bad nor all good, though not quite right yet either. – Betsy Sharkey, Los Angeles Times
Armchair Analysis: The trailers look like they should have spent more than three days working on the script. But seriously, remember when McG was the next big thing in Hollywood? I knew that problem would work itself out.
The Wind Rises
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 87% critics, 92% audience
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
The Wind Rises has the historical sweep of a David Lean picture, complete with panoramic shots of migrating populations against a background of disaster … – Dana Stevens, Slate
While it’s not quite as magical as some of his previous films, it makes a fitting and often moving farewell. – Moira MacDonald, Seattle Times
Armchair Analysis: I’ve never even heard of this, but I assume it’s really artsy and sweet.
In Secret
Rotten Tomatoes Scores: 40% critics, 77% audience
Gratuitous Review Quotes:
[A] wicked, The Postman Always Rings Twice-style riff on the 19th-century bodice ripper Thérèse Raquin. – Chris Nashawaty, Entertainment Weekly
Olsen widens her eyes and parts her lips prettily, but she’s a wan, recessive presence and an increasingly problematic one as Therese and Laurent are engulfed by mud and blood. – Manohla Dargis, New York Times
Armchair Analysis: I have a secret – I’d take Jessica Lange out for an early dinner, if you catch my drift.