Senior Editor
02.29.08 557 Comments

Opening This Weekend:

Semi Pro
I’m actually thinking of seeing this. I mean, look at that poster – what else do you need to know? It’s both an Afro-disiac and the greatest ‘fro on Earth. Someone should ‘fro their marketing department into a volcano. Anyway, I’m sure there’ll be at least three or four moments of genuine laughter in between attempts at self-harm.

The Other Boleyn Girl
Someone gets their head chopped off in this, right? I hope so, because I ain’t sitting through shit like this without that kind of promise.

Aw, no one likes poor Christina Ricci because she has a pig nose. She can’t find anyone to love her until one day, someone notices that her tits are huge. Did I mention she was sexually assaulted by a chimp on the set of this movie? Also: EW grades it an F. Sounds like a winner! 

The Chicago 10
A recreation of historical events using stock footage and that creepy animation from Waking Life. Getting okay reviews. I say: Meh?  

City of Men
Sequel to City of God (probably one of my top ten favorite movies) from a different director. Uh oh. Sounds like a watered-down version of the original. Then again I don’t mind drinking whiskey with a little water now and then. Is that a good analogy? Who cares, I’m drunk.       

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