Well Tie Your Mother Down, It’s The Super Sexy ‘Fifty Shades Of Grey’ Trailer

Jamie Dornan stars as Christian Grey, CEO of Grey Enterprises, the lord of the Grey House tower, owner of countless grey ties, grey suits, grey cars, and a grey hoody, in Fifty Shades of Grey, the ultimate diddle fantasy for greying soccer moms in grey Camrys. Light bondage, y’all.

The infamous bestselling series by EL James that began as Twilight fan-fiction written under the pen name Snowqueen’s Icedragon comes to theaters this Valentine’s Day, with Sam Taylor-Wood (Aaron Taylor-Johnson’s wife) directing, and Dakota Johnson starring as “girl who gets tied up or whatever.” I haven’t read the books. Do they explain why she’s wearing drug store panties?

Mmm, sex me, grandma. Sex me raw. Oh well, more sex is good, I always say.


(Don’t ask me why, but I keep wanting to apply this to Fifty Shades).