As long as we've had big studio movies, we've had gorgeous male movie stars. Your grandmother (or great-grandmother) clutched her heart and the nearest banister when Rudolph Valentino, Errol Flynn, or Tyrone Power visited the silver screen. In fact, anybody with a working circulatory system lit up at those foxes. They are timelessly stunning.
That's why it's a little disappointing to remember that male movie stars' bodies were never properly objectified in Hollywood's Golden Age. You had your brawny Johnny Weissmuller types, but they were deviations from the norm: slick, dashing, winking leading men. It wasn't until Biblical epics and gladiator pictures that we were gifted with regular doses of thigh sinew.
But now, finally, a heaven-sent Tumblr user internet is rectifying this historical slight with a tribute to one of the most under-appreciated bodies and derrieres in cinema. Behold, a Tumblr devoted to Gene Kelly's butt.
Frankly, you had almost no reason to notice a male movie star's butt before 1950. We didn't have the technology (or, I guess, will) to engineer ass-consciousness into twill or flannel suit pants. But in the case of Gene Kelly, who donned sailor pants and athletic slacks in his most notable dance productions, we actually got glimpses of a backside that would fit right in with the latest behind-the-scene slideshow of a near-naked Zac Efron or Hugh Jackman.
In retrospect it's a shame how often we could've gotten more out of Gene Kelly's butt but failed. Check out these shorts. The hell? Those skivvies fit that ass like a chef's hat.
More depression: Here's a cartoon mouse receiving a closer glance at Gene's butt than Ann Miller or Vera-Ellen ever got.
But rejoice: Now we are all that cartoon mouse.
What a way to go, indeed.