We’ve spent the last two years largely indoors and damn was that tough. Now it’s time to get out there, hit the poolside, beach, backyard, park, patch of grass, whatever you’ve got access to, with some friends and make up for those lost years. But who has the time to roll out the bar cart, bust out all the tools, and mix fancy cocktails? We did enough of that shit during the lockdown.
That’s why right now we’re all about canned cocktails. No, they’ll never taste quite like the real thing, but they’re cheap, convenient, portable, and require absolutely no mixing skills, tools, mixers, or glassware. They’re perfect for cracking open at the end of the hike while you take in the view and they certainly get the job done when it comes to the whole issue of… you know… having alcohol in them.
So we’re shouting out the best new canned cocktails that you need stocked in your cooler this spring party season. Cheers!
Cutwater Bali Hai Tiki Rum Punch
ABV: 7%
Average Price: $13.99 (4 Pack)
The Cocktail:
Cutwater’s new Tiki Rum Punch features a mix of the brand’s Bali Hai rum and sparkling orange-passion fruit punch. Like the Bali Hai rum, it’s very sugary, with a single can packing 13.5 grams of sugar and 190 calories. That isn’t a lot for a cocktail but is on the higher end for canned beverages.
Those calories are well spent on flavor though, it blows White Claw, Truly, and the like out of the water in terms of flavor and punch.
Tasting Notes:
A medley of berries, sweet melon, and zesty citrus top notes with a subtle brown sugar and pepper bite.
The Bottom Line:
Tropical, sweet, and strong enough to give you a good buzz in a single can.
Owls Brew Boozy Tea — Matcha Pineapple & Chamomile
ABV: 4.8%
Average Price: $13.99 (6-pack)
The Cocktail:
A combination of Matcha green tea, juicy pineapple, and chamomile, this is truly one of the weirder canned cocktails out there, and at 4.8% ABV it hardly even provides a head change but I love this stuff. It’s refreshing, and truly one of the most unique combinations of flavors on the RTD beverage market.
Tasting Notes:
Very vegetal and fresh, with a subtle twist of sour notes and a nice floral aftertaste.
The Bottom Line:
For the novelty of this flavor combination alone, it’s worth the pickup. You’re going to need to drink a couple of these to feel anything resembling a buzz, but on a warm day in the sun, few spiked drinks are as refreshing.
Sauza Agave Cocktails — Tropical Twist
ABV: 8%
Average Price: $7.99
The Cocktail:
Part of Sauza’s new three-flavor canned Agave Cocktails line — which ironically enough aren’t technically cocktails according to the packaging but “cocktail-inspired drinks,” — the Tropical Twist is the best of the line’s three flavors, which also include Strawberry Breeze and the truly awful Lime Crush. Be warned, do not order the Lime Crush unless you want to drink something that tastes like batteries.
When it comes to tequila brands, I’m not the biggest fan of Sauza, but this canned cocktail which combines a malt alcohol base with pineapple, passion fruit, and citrus flavors does a pretty good job at mimicking a fast and easy tequila cocktail.
Tasting Notes:
Pineapple and passion fruit top notes with a sweet agave finish on the backend. A bit vegetal and earthy on the aftertaste.
The Bottom Line:
It’s not quite as good as a margarita in a can, but Sauza’s Tropical Twist dunks on White Claw and other sparkling malt beverages, packing more flavor and a stronger kick.
Cantina Especial — Grapefruit Paloma
ABV: 5.6%
Average Price: $10.99 (4-pack)
The Cocktail:
The Paloma is my all-time favorite cocktail, so I’m pretty specific and picky when it comes to canned versions. Luckily for Paloma fans, the magic of this simple cocktail is easily captured in canned form thanks to its reliance on sparkling Grapefruit soda. It’s practically already a canned cocktail! Cantina Especial is a Texas brand that uses blanco tequila sourced from Jalisco mixed with ruby red grapefruit soda and sweetened with agave syrup.
Tasting Notes:
Bitter, then sweet, then herbal, then floral, and bitter again, if you’re already a fan of Palomas you’re going to find a lot to love here. It leans a bit more on the sweet side, think a Grapefruit Jarritos assisted Paloma rather than one made mixing fresh juice and sparkling water.
The Bottom Line:
A solid canned Paloma, our only gripe is that at 5.6% ABV it’s a bit on the mild end.
Golden Rule — Old Fashioned
ABV: 39.5%
Average Price: $19.99 (4-Pack)
The Cocktail:
Does an Old Fashioned count as a tropical cocktail? It’s got a zesty finish so… f*ck it, we’re counting it! In the intro to this piece, I made a comment about canned old-fashioneds never living up to the real thing, and that is true, but Golden Rule’s Old Fashioned comes pretty damn close. Batch made with rye bourbon, angostura bitters, cane sugar, and orange zest, this canned cocktail has everything that a true old-fashioned should have and delivers a surprisingly complex flavor.
Tasting Notes:
It has that grassy quality that rye whiskey provides with a balanced sweet and bitter body and a bright zesty finish. It’s more mellow and not as sweet and peppery as the fresh stuff.
The Bottom Line:
The best Old Fashioned in a can you will ever drink.
Golden Rule — Margarita Original
ABV: 27%
Average Price: $19.99
The Cocktail:
Seriously someone needs to give Golden Rule an award or something because this brand knows how to deliver a good canned cocktail. This tastes exactly like a traditional margarita, it’s tart, bright, refreshing, and leaps and bounds better than any canned sparkling agave or dive bar margarita you’ll ever drink.
I appreciate Golden Rule for not cutting any corners by adding sweet and sour or margarita mix, instead, Golden Rule uses 100% agave tequila, real lime juice, and a proprietary triple sec.
Tasting Notes:
Exactly what you want a basic margarita to taste like, it balances tart lime and sweet orange liqueur flavors and even manages to provide a slightly salty aftertaste that perfectly captures what a salted rim gives you.
The Bottom Line:
Like the Old Fashioned, this is the best canned Margarita we’ve had to date. If you’re not completely sold on canned cocktails or don’t think they come even close to a freshly mixed drink, try Golden Rule and get back to us.
Spa Girl — Sparkling Mango Vodka Cocktail
ABV: 11.5%
Average Price: $44.99 (12-Pack)
The Cocktail:
If you’re looking for a canned cocktail that tastes tailor-made for the pool-side ragers of Palm Spring’s Splash House, look no further than Spa Girl. The brand, which actually originates in Palm Springs California, offers low-calories vodka-based cocktails paired with fresh ingredients that won’t weigh you down but pack a powerful enough punch to provide a steady and sustained buzz.
Tasting Notes:
Heavy on the juicy mango notes with a slightly bitter initial taste that mellows out into something more pleasingly tropical and fruity. You can’t so much as taste the vodka here as feel it. It’s a bit wince-inducing and clearly not the highest quality vodka, but hey, at least you can taste it working!
The Bottom Line:
Fizzy, fruity, and strong. Spa Girl comes in a small package, both calorically and literally, but it offers a sustained buzz and a great sparkling vodka-based cocktail that tastes even better over ice.
Editor’s Pick — Good Feels Cannabis Infused Seltzer
ABV: 0%
Average Price: $5
The Cocktail:
Okay, a little bit of a cheat here. This isn’t a cocktail, per se, but I definitely recommend keeping it on hand for barbecues and the like. Everyone on our team has different things they want out of weed beverages, but for me, this was the first weed drink I could imagine having more than one of at a time. It came on mellow and… stayed mellow.
And yet, you definitely felt it. But the sensation was cruisy/ boozy — not weed-head-trippy.
For my personal palate, this is the fast-acting social weed drink of my dreams. The fact that it has no sugar sort of boggles the mind. Smart move by Good Feels to take the best three White Claw flavors and focus on those (plus and Apple-Rasberry flavor I haven’t tried), rather than getting bogged down with other flavors that don’t do sugar-free as well (lime, strawberry, etc.).
Tasting Notes:
Black cherry tastes of… black cherries. There’s a teensie bit of piney darkness from the weed but it’s almost pure black cherry. It’s light, like a Claw, but the alcohol-metallic taste of those seltzers always distracts me. I like this better.
The Bottom Line:
The brand is called Good Feels and it leaves you feeling good. Not “f*cked up” by any means, but certainly ever so slightly tilted and deeply relaxed. This is one I’ll be seeking out often.
