Christmas has better songs and a better ground game when it comes to blanketing every store with red, green, and pine (finding a menorah or Hanukkah paper goods in a Wal-Mart is like trying to find Waldo), but I flat out refuse to surrender cookie supremacy to snickerdoodles and bland sugar cookies.
I was raised (and fattened up) in a mixed-religion household. I know what’s up when it comes to Christmas cookies, but they don’t come close to the delight that comes from a properly made linzer tart or a pile of coconut macaroons. And these aren’t even the best of the bunch when it comes to the cookies that you should indulge in if you’re gathering to celebrate Hanukkah or just want to chow down on some cookies that are actually good. (You heard it, come at me!)
The point here isn’t to say which is the best (even though it’s raspberry hamantaschen), though, it’s to guide you on how, exactly, you can fulfill your cookie needs.
The Lineup
Some of these cookies are more general favorites (the black and white) and others are typically tied to other holidays (hamantaschen and Purim and even linzer tarts with Christmas), but all can lay claim to being a small part of Jewish culinary culture, so it made sense to include them. Truth be told, there are a ton of options when it comes to Hanukkah cookies, but for the purposes of this article, we’re sticking to five that are widely available and wildly popular.
Macaroons: Not to be confused with the very colorful disc-shaped almond-flour French macarons, the basic coconut macaroon is virtually impossible to screw up.
Linzer Tart: Doused in confectioner’s sugar (it must look like party night at Pablo Escobar’s when these are getting made), the linzer tart joins a smear of raspberry preserves between two circular cookie discs. There’s also a cutout that allows for even more jam to bubble out and seduce you.
Hamantaschen: Triangle-shaped with preserves (raspberry, apricot) or other filling (chocolate, poppy seeds) and a slight hint of orange in the dough. These are probably the most obscure of the bunch.
Black And White Cookie: Immortalized by Seinfeld as the ultimate path toward equality before Jerry’s stomach was torn asunder, the black and white is a cakey deli/bakery/diner standard that mixes a lemon-cookie base with an equal portion of vanilla and chocolate icing. It must never be modified from its intended round shape!
Rugelach: The classic style is a flaky crescent-shaped cookie that is typically cinnamon or chocolate filled. The common variation (which I prefer) is raspberry filled with nuts and comes off as more strudel-y.
Now that you know the players, here’s how you play the game (I’m sorry).
Make It At Home
Recipes are readily available (you know this) and there’s pride that comes from conquering a new baking challenge, but if you’ve got a lot of crap to do over the next few days, this might not be an option.
I crave good hamantaschen and I can’t find it anywhere local, so I don’t have a choice, but maybe you don’t need to dirty the kitchen and burn off precious time when you could swing by a bakery or a store… just be careful where you go.
Where To Look
As I said, hamantaschen is a deeper cut. The bakery is your only respite if you’re on the hunt. And while you’re there, pick up the rugelach, because store-bought versions are over-sweetened garbage. Cheaper, though. Good rugelach can go for $10 to $15 a pound at a kosher bakery.
The reverse of this is the black and white cookie and the macaroon. Manischewitz coconut macaroons from a cardboard tube are soft, delicious, and an easy and cheap find at the grocery store. They also come in flavors like red velvet, chocolate, and orange pistachio, though some of those aren’t as widely available. If you want to hide your shame and pretend that you went all out, you can dress your cookies up by drizzling some melted chocolate and maybe dropping some shaved coconut on top.
Black and white cookies are pretty much universally awesome and all over the place. I prefer the individually wrapped vending machine ones. I don’t know, nor do I want to know, what kind of preservatives they use to keep them so soft. We all gotta go sometime.
The linzer tart is similarly common, but nowhere near as unf*ckupable.
The Case Against Dry Cookies
Unlike rugelach, taste isn’t the concern when it comes to picking out the right linzer tart. You can’t really foul-up the kinky four-way marriage of jam, brown sugar, toasted almonds, and powdered sugar — it was built to last. Really, the consistency is the issue here.
Both linzer tarts and hamentaschen become utterly worthless if they’re dry. I’ve had linzer tarts from a diner showcase (which is foolish because the only good diner dessert is pie) that were so brittle that they turned to a pile of crumbs in my delicate yet masculine hands.
Yeah, just like John Cusack’s daughter in 1408. It’s an equivalent level of disappointment. What?
Unfortunately, it’s hard to eyeball the dryness level of a linzer tart through a glass case. It’s going to be trial and error, but again, your best bet is to hit up the nearest high-end bakery or get really good at baking and hope for the best. Breathe easy, though. Even if you strike out and get a middling result it’s still going to be better than a gingersnap. FIGHT ME.
Throw A Cookie Party
It can be any kind of party, really, but you’ve come this far in pursuit of a better cookie and once you apply all of this newfound cookie wisdom, you need to indulge and celebrate the time you spent on line at a bakery and/or covered in flour and powdered sugar. And if you don’t want to deal with people and you just want to tear through your weight in rugelach this weekend, then you do you. Nobody said a cookie party can’t be a rager for one.
