Why Indiana Jones Should Go To Pixar

Yesterday, it was announced that Indiana Jones wouldn’t be recast in the eventual fifth movie, and fans rejoiced. But if they’re going to keep Harrison Ford in the saddle, perhaps it’s time to step away from live action and bring Pixar into the fold.

It’s true that Disney cares more about Star Wars, which they own outright, than Indiana Jones, of which they have to give Paramount a cut. And in truth, if they don’t want to recast, the sensible thing to do would be to let the franchise rest. But Hollywood never, ever leaves money on the table, so Indiana Jones 5 is happening.

But it’s not happening in live action, at least not with Harrison Ford. That same announcement, that they’re not recasting Indy, also features Disney more or less admitting they don’t have a script yet. Ford’s going to be 74 next year, and while Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skull managed to make his age work for him, more or less, it’s hard to see that happening twice. It’s bad enough watching him limp in Star Wars: The Force Awakens; do we really want to see Indy grimace as he tries to swing across a chasm on his whip?

Similarly, what era is this going to be set in? Indy in the ’50s just felt wrong, somehow. He’s a pulp hero to his core, and Soviets and aliens just don’t work as foes. Imagining Indy and the inevitable recasting of Mutt doing the heavy lifting in the action scenes in the ’60s just feels more out of place. What are they going to call it, Indiana Jones and the Thirteenth Floor Elevators?

Pixar, though, can solve both problems in one fell swoop. Ford’s age won’t be an issue, because he doesn’t have to run around punching Inca monkey ninjas. And they don’t have to worry about the timeline anymore; Indy got up to a ton of shenanigans in the ’30s, after all. And if you’ve seen The Incredibles or Brave, you know Pixar can handle action scenes and stunts with aplomb. Hell, move a few things around and Up is more or less an Indy movie already.

Really, at this point, only Pixar can really do it right. So, give them a crack at Indy. No matter what they put out, it’ll beat watching Indy grouse at hippies.