Remembering 7 Porn Stars Who Tried (And Failed) To Make It In Hollywood

08.30.14 4 years ago 51 Comments
porn stars in hollywood

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Porn is a young person’s game (that is unless you enjoy geriatrics grinding atop of one another, which is a conversation you should have with your counselor). There are only so many times your respective pole or hole can get buffed, smacked, or poked for the enjoyment of others before you begin to weigh less strenuous career options.

For many adult entertainers, there comes a time to move on from such a vapid, superficial and emotionless trade. And what better place to utilize years of experience in such a soulless, shameless business than the mecca for all anemic soul-reavers: Hollywood!

But, beware ye’ who choose to bang for a buck. Daniel Day Lewis may win an Academy Award every time he farts in the direction of a 16mm camera, but the life of a thespian is not so easy. Case in point: these seven porn stars who fell a bit short in their acting endeavors…

Chasey Lain

Chasey lain orgazmo

Focus Features

After starting off the ’90s with such gems like Busty Biker Babes, and New Wave Hookers 4, Chasey Lain — born Tiffany Anne Jones — decided to give traditional cinema a try. Her first attempt was playing a role credited as “Party Babe” in the godawful Tales from the Crypt: Demon Knight.

That film is probably best known for a scene in which a demonic Billy Zane unleashes his demon penis which resembles a lasso made of fire. Lain, for her credit, did get one more shot at stardom in Spike Lee’s He Got Game, but that was the end of the Hollywood road (except for a brief cameo in Orgazmo). She won an AVN Award in 2003, and her last credited role was Reality MILF’s in 2010.

Marilyn Chambers

rabid Marilyn chambers

New World Pictures

If you can believe it, Chambers actually got her start back in 1970 in The Owl and the Pussycat with Barbara Streisand. But, sensing that her acting skills were better suited for porn, she embarked on a successful cinematic sex career with titles like Angel of H.E.A.T. and Private Fantasies 3.

She did however take a short break, in 1977,  to star in “body horror” maestro David Cronenberg’s Rabid (her character appropriately has an anus inside her armpit…not kidding). Her last film, Porndogs: The Adventures of Sadie, features real dogs having real sex and is billed as a pornographic comedy. Coincidentally, Chambers died the same year it was released probably because her brain exploded when she realized she just made a film called Porndogs.

Ginger Lynn

16th Annual Music Video Production Association Awards - Arrivals

Getty Image

With 154 credits on her resume, Lynn became quite the prolific porn vixen when her career started in 1984 with Too Good to Be True along side master c*cksman Peter North. Lynn got her “big break,” though, when she scored a part in the crappy neo-western Young Guns II.

After having a bit part in a few episodes of NYPD Blue, Ginger Lynn almost scored the Sharon Stone role in Casino until it was realized that film actually required talent. Her next, and last, major project was Rob Zombie’s The Devil’s Rejects. After that, she moseyed on back to the porn industry last starring in 2011’s Sex Starved MILFs 2.

Traci Lords

traci-lords-cry-baby

Universal

Although she never really even got close to being a reputable Hollywood star, Traci Lords may hold the distinction of getting just about as close as you can to being a working actor in Hollywood after getting railed for a living. Despite banging away on camera for the better part of the 80s, Lords was cast in John Waters’ cult classic Cry-Baby alongside Johnny Depp.

Lords would flounder in bad B-movies and semi-popular TV shows for the better part of the 90s but then scored a small role in 1998’s Blade and another John Waters’ cult film, Serial Mom. That would be the height of quality for Lords’ career. She’s set to next appear in Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre which is probably just as terrible as it sounds.

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