There’s no shortage of rumors about Star Wars: Episode VIII. Yoda might make an appearance. Mark Hamill’s missing beard might be a clue to where Luke winds up. Snoke’s backpack might have jets, since he’s Boba Fett. But there are so many out there it’s nearly impossible to keep track of them all, so here’s an overview of recent theories from the credible to the goofy.
Rey’s Visions Will Reveal Why Luke Went Into Hiding
According to fan site Making Star Wars, Rey’s vision in The Force Awakens isn’t going to be an isolated incident. Most of this seems to hinge on actors and their props returning, and that Rey will fill in a few blanks before and after that shot of Luke resting his hand on Artoo in order to say goodbye.
Plausible?: It seems to line up with the facts as we know them, namely that Luke is reluctant to take on new padawans and Rey has a bit of a psychic thing going on. And it seems likely they’re going to fill in what Luke’s been doing these last 30 years; a psychic vision is as good a vehicle for that as any.
The Knights Of Ren Are Going To Show Up
This not only has YouTubers ranting, it’s backed up by eyewitness accounts. Apparently Kylo is going to get his boys and try to teach the girl that whipped his whiny ass a lesson, namely that bullies tend to act tougher when they’ve got a bunch of people backing them up.
Plausible?: Why wouldn’t the Knights of Ren show up, really? Their boy got his butt kicked, and they’re a bunch of Sith wannabes just like him. Fighting some actual Jedi is what they live for. Now, actually surviving a fight against a Jedi who’s spent 30 years meditating on the horrible things these punks did to his padawans, and the raw talent he’s been training who was dangerous before she tapped into the Force, that’s another matter entirely.
The Trailer Will Arrive Tagged To Assassin’s Creed
A Redditor screenshotted an Instagram of a memo that looks watermarked from another website that supposedly leaks a whole bunch of trailer dates, including Episode VIII‘s teaser arriving in theaters on December 20, which would mean you’d probably see it in theaters before Assassin’s Creed.
Plausible?: The overall date is weird. Why would the trailer arrive on the Tuesday before Christmas? Especially on a memo that claims the Justice League trailer will arrive in the theatrical doldrums between Christmas and New Year’s Eve? Why not tag it to Doctor Strange? Or, even more obviously, Rogue One? That said, Disney is a firm believer in synergy, so the trailer might arrive on, say, ABC or ESPN a few days early before officially being put into theaters, and the general timeframe sounds right, as the first Force Awakens trailer arrived over Thanksgiving. So, maybe not the exact date, but definitely in that range.
Chewbacca Is Going To Join Han
Chewie was seen at the big Knights of Ren fight, and that’s led some YouTubers to the belief that Chewie is going to join Han on that eternal Kessel Run.
Plausible?: While it’s not entirely out of the question that a beloved character is going to bite it in Episode VIII, going back to that particular well seems unlikely, especially when you can sell so many more plushie Chewies.
We Haven’t Met Han And Leia’s Son, Yet
Essentially, some Redditors think that J.J. Abrams is dancing around the issue of Kylo Ren being the genetic result of Han and Leia, and said son will turn out to be somebody else.
Plausible?: Unless there’s something we don’t know about Rey, or Kylo turns out to be adopted, don’t hold your breath on this one.
Snoke To Luke: “I Am Your Grandfather”
Many of the same people convinced Chewie is going to die are also convinced Snoke is going to turn out to be Luke’s grandpa.
Plausible?: To quote the Empire scene that clearly so many people hope is going to be repeated in Episode VIII: That’s not true. That’s impossible. Joking aside, though, it really is impossible. First of all, Snoke is a more likely grandpa for Rey than for Luke, and secondly, Anakin Skywalker’s origins involve Shmi Skywalker getting knocked up by midichlorians, something Episode III heavily implies at one point was thanks to Palpatine. Unless Disney thinks parents want to explain immaculate conception and psychic sexual assault to small children over Christmas breakfast, we bet this one’s just going to be left alone.
Rey Is Really A Jedi Spirit Who Was Stuck In A Tree
You heard us.
Plausible?: Not remotely. The tree in question spotted on the set is from the Knights of Rey flashback we mentioned up top. Besides, who do you think is writing this movie? George Lucas?
