Say the words “track five” to a Taylor Swift fan (me) and watch them (still me) spontaneously begin crying (I’m sobbing).
The Grammy-winning songwriter tends to put her most honest and emotionally destructive songs in the fifth slot on her albums — there’s the cathartic diary entry “The Archer” on Lover, the f*ck-off-John-Mayer ballad “Dear John” on Speak Now, and “All Too Well,” not only the best song on Red, but the best song in Swift’s discography.
The fan-favorite anthem, which Swift called the “hardest [song] to write on the album,” is supposedly about actor Jake Gyllenhaal, who she briefly dated in 2010. As “All Too Well” builds to its powerfully cathartic bridge, Swift sings, “Photo album on the counter, your cheeks were turning red / You used to be a little kid with glasses in a twin sized bed.”
Speaking of little kids with glasses…
There was only one way Jake Gyllenhaal posting a pic of himself as a little kid in glasses during All Too Well season was going to end. pic.twitter.com/S84ncT7AWl
— Ashley Spencer (@AshleySpencer) September 28, 2020
Swifties are flooding Gyllenhaal’s Instagram comments with “All Too Well lyrics. “u posted this pic and thought that the swifties would do nothing???? mistake,” one follower wrote, while West Side Story actress Rachel Zegler added, “I’ll be honest mate you set yourself up for this one.” As for the actual message of Jake’s post:
I’ve worn my glasses ever since I parted my hair meticulously with gel (see above), which is why NEW EYES has always been near and dear to my heart. Since 1932, @neweyes_ has provided eyeglasses to people who needed them most. I’m thrilled that they’ve partnered with @theinspireprojectus to create Project Human: Changing the Way We See the World, a speaker series coming to schools and remote learners this fall. Project Human is designed to spark conversations focusing on unity and equality. It’s an opportunity for students to interact with public figures and do what they do best: Keep ‘em on their toes!
If Mr. Music is wearing a scarf in his next throwback photo, you’ll know he’s onto us.
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