Since making her return to the spotlight this year, Demi Lovato has been candid about the struggles she has dealt with in recent years. She opened up about her life on Ellen today, and she pinpointed that her relapsed stemmed from her former management team being overly controlling about her diet.
“My bulimia got really bad and I asked for help, and I didn’t receive the help I needed. […] I felt completely abandoned, so I drank. That night I went to a party and there was other stuff there. And it was only three months before I ended up in the hospital with an OD. Ultimately, I made the decisions that led me to where I am today. It was my actions that put me in the position that I’m in. And I think it’s so important that I sit here on this stage and tell you at home or you in the audience or you right here that if you do go through this, you yourself can get through it.”
She detailed how he former management team treated her when it came to food, saying:
“I lived a life for the past six years that I felt like wasn’t my own, because I struggled really hard with an eating disorder, yes, and that was my primary problem, and then it turned into other things. My life, I felt, was so — and I hate to use this word — but I felt like it was controlled by so many people around me. If I was in my hotel room at night, they would take the phone out of the hotel room so I couldn’t call room service, or if there was fruit in my room, they took it out because it was extra sugar.”
She then spoke about a cathartic birthday cake she had after getting new management:
“For many years, I didn’t even have a birthday cake. I had a watermelon cake where you cut your watermelon into the shape of a cake and you put fat-free whipped cream on top, and that was your cake. For years, I did that, and it kind of became this ongoing joke, but I just really wanted birthday cake. So this year, when I turned 27, I have a new team, and Scooter Braun, my manager, gave me the best birthday cake. I spent [my birthday] with Ariana Grande, who is one of my good friends, and we just had the best birthday. I just remember crying because I was finally eating cake with a manager that didn’t need anything from me and that loved me for who I am and supported my journey. I think at some point, it becomes dangerous to try to control someone’s food when they’re in recovery from an eating disorder.”
Watch Lovato discuss her relapse above.