02.26.07 11 years ago 5 Comments

So remember last year, when Barry Bonds dressed up as Paula Abdul and pretended not to be a dickface for an entire morning? Well, that was part of some spring training grabassery called "Giants Idol," and those wacky San Franciscans did it again this year. And I guess the person who gets to play Paula is the most overpaid person on the team, because Barry Zito played the role of Paula this year. And not very well, either:

[Zito] was a poor imitation of Bonds doing an imitation of Paula Abdul. The outfit was not nearly as impressive, he spoke in his own voice and didn't make much of an attempt to imitate Abdul's mannerisms. Last year Bonds had Paula's fake smile, was flirting with the contestants, flipping his hair, giving mostly rave reviews and even spoke in a falsetto voice to complete the impression. Zito did none of that.

Fucking piece of shit Barry Zito can't even do a decent Paula Abdul impression. You think for $126 million he might at least pretend to care about his work.

The Barry-Paula scandal, however, pales in comparison to the atrocity of the picture below, taken by Giants Jottings (via The Big Picture). Those people are Oscar Montero and Osiris Matos, alleged professional baseball players and now, lifelong nightmare fuel. My God.

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