Sports

An Anthology Of Donald Trump’s Very Bad Sports Takes

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Before becoming the most prominent person in the world who calls himself a Republican, Donald Trump was a rich (but maybe not that rich!) dude with a spray tan, a Twitter account, and cable television. He loved sports. He really, really loved sports. And gosh almighty, did homie have some scorching hot sports takes.

To learn more about his takes, I recommend heading to Twitter and searching “[ATHLETE/COACH/TEAM] from:realdonaldtrump” and seeing what he thought about, well, anything. For proof, I decided to search through a number of topics and see what Trump tweeted about them using his tiny hands.

ALEX RODRIGUEZ

There may not be a single person who Trump hates more than the New York Yankees’ former star, who retired earlier this year. Here’s the first tweet Trump sent about Rodriguez:

The takes just kept coming. Hot dang, did Trump have some takes.

There are two reasons that appear to justify – well, at least in Trump’s mind – this hatred. The first is that Trump thought that Rodriguez couldn’t play baseball well unless he took PEDs.

The second is that they apparently had a run-in over some real-estate. Trump also used this to praise Derek Jeter, because of course he used Derek Jeter to denigrate Alex Rodriguez.

Oh, and of course, Trump compared A-Rod to Barack Obama. Because who wouldn’t compare a third baseman with a career 140 OPS+ to an elected official?

PENN STATE

Ol’ Donald had a lot to say on the Penn State scandal. First:

Then:

Donald Trump flip-flopped on whether the NCAA should punish Penn State, going from “suspend the football program” to “WHAT A BAD DEAL PENN STATE GOT HOSED” when the football program did not get suspended. And the best part is he went from Take A to Take B in 12 days! If he flip-flopped on this so quickly, imagine what he’d do to the First Amendment. Actually let’s not imagine what he’d do to the First Amendment.

BASKETBALL

Trump is from New York. New York is the basketball capital of the world. Ergo, he has a lot to say about basketball, even though he probably ain’t any good at it and has clearly never been in a locker room.

Anyway, Trump watches a lot of basketball. Like many of us, he was caught up in Linsanity…

…and thinks LeBron James is good at basketball. And a great guy! Donald Trump wants you to know that he thinks LeBron James is a great guy because he constantly needs validation of his celebrity. (Of course, this didn’t help Trump get LeBron’s endorsement this year.)

Also like many of us: Trump was completely fooled on how good the 2012 Los Angeles Lakers would be.

He’s also a big fan of Michael Jordan quotes. Big fan! Huge fan! You’ll never meet a bigger fan of Michael Jordan quotes than Donald Trump. Just don’t ask him about anything of/related to policy.

Oh, and Trump really hates basketball player tattoos. Wonder why that could be.

TOM BRADY

Now we get to the least surprising portion of this post: Trump’s creepy fascination with Tom Brady.

I’ll level with you on this one – I know you don’t want to read this. It’s super weird and incredibly gross, especially because Brady won’t say something like “yeah I am close with Donald but his comments about [essentially anything] are not acceptable.” Hell, it seems like Brady straight up supports the dude. So I’ll just dump a bunch of tweets in and we’ll move on to something silly. Cool? Cool.

That was weird and kind of gross.

RUTGERS

Sure.

Sure.

MUHAMMAD ALI

This will never not be an amazing testament to how Trump doesn’t know what he’s doing in any way, shape, or form.

First…

…then, about six months later, this happened.

He is not smart.

THE NHL

¯_(ツ)_/¯

TIM TEBOW

This is the least surprising thing ever.

To Trump, perceived leadership is more important thank being good at something. This applies to Tebow’s football career and his campaign for the White House.

RUSSIA AND THE OLYMPICS

For some reason, Trump loves talking about how great Russia is. No, I don’t mean in the sense that he adores Vladimir Putin, I mean in the sense that he rooted for them during the Olympics in 2014.

We’ll get to what makes this so funny in a second, but first, let’s look back at 2012, when Trump celebrated like wild over China getting in trouble for doping during those games.

For the record, it’s not like everyone on China’s Olympic team doped. From what we can tell, only one Chinese athlete was disqualified for doping in 2012, while another merely faced allegations for the practice (if we’re wrong on this, please, let us know).

But yeah, wrapping back around to Russia, you’d think that Trump would have been completely up in arms about the fact that the 2012 Olympics were reportedly “sabotaged” by Russian doping, right? Same with the report that state-sponsored doping across Russia was a massive issue at the 2014 Winter Olympics.

Here is every tweet Trump has set in which he says “Russia” and “Olympics”:

We’ll ignore the fact that blaming the President for winning five fewer medals than another country is completely insane. Now, let’s look at every time Trump has said “Russians” and “Olympics” in a tweet:

And finally, here’s every time he has said “Putin” and “Olympics” in a tweet:

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Sigh.

THE JETS

OK, so maybe a blind squirrel finds a nut every now and then.

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