Finally, An Undershirt For The Self-Conscious Bro Who Is Too Lazy To Hit The Gym

Senior Writer
10.21.13 6 Comments

Douchebag shirt

The video you’re about to watch is from March, but it only has 88,000 views and I hadn’t seen it until this morning, and if you’ve been reading Ol’ Brando and I for a while you’ll know that’s all we need to justify posting something. Anyway, this f*cker has everything – a bro, a bro taking his shirt off, the dance club version of Steve Winwood’s “Valerie,” a bro showing off his new muscle-inducing undershirt, and that bro, of course, showing off his new faux muscles.

I know, this isn’t actually sports-related – unless you count that it’s vaguely fitness-related, like I am – but it’s only a matter of time before a college bro out there picks one of these shirts up on Etsy or wherever it’s for sale and tries to pass it off under his long sleeve Nike Dri-Fit shirt during the 3-on-3 Intramural Flag Football Tournament. “I was too sore from the gym to jump for that catch, bro,” J-Rod (Jacob Rodberg) will shout at his QB, with one pec on his shoulder.

That said, I’ll take two.

Fortunately, and for the sake of you people who don’t find our ironic bro fascination charming, Oddity Central has the details behind this specific shirt, AKA the “Funkybod”:

The idea occurred to the two Brits one day at the gym when they noticed that more and more healthy people were coming in seeking only to change their physical appearance. “There are skinny guys who are perfectly healthy but when they go out on a Friday night they want to look a bit more buff,” Ash says. “Women have always been into padded bras and that kind of thing and guys now want a bit of the action too. Men can be as vain as women so we’re just selling them some confidence.”

Except, women wear padded bras to give the perception of slightly larger breasts, because they can’t just snap their fingers and – VOILA! – brand new boobies, yo. The difference here is that when a girl takes her padded bra off, a guy won’t necessarily care. But if a guy takes his dress shirt off to reveal this contraption, have fun being haunted by that girl’s laughter for the rest of your life.

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