06.24.07 11 years ago 7 Comments

Miami Dolphins defensive lineman Frederick Evans had a rough Saturday morning:

Frederick Evans, 23, was charged with battery on a law enforcement officer, disorderly conduct, resisting with violence, and trespassing, police said.  According to police and a cab driver, this is what happened: The defensive tackle, who smelled of alcohol, climbed into Dieudonne Telfort's cab on Washington Avenue and lied down in the back seat.  After Evans threw up, he took a swing at Telfort but missed.

Telfort reportedly asked, "Where-a adt tu?"  Heh, Quick Change is a hilarious film. But only after a thorough baking.  Anyway, Evans went on to bite a police officer:

Officers ordered Evans to get out of the cab, but he refused, and officers proceeded to place him under arrest. Evans allegedly began cursing at them as they were handcuffing him, then took a swing at one of the officers.  One officer was bitten on his left wrist and suffered several bruises; another had scrapes and bruises on her left knee, police said.

Freddy was probably hungry; he had just ralphed.  I'm always starving for flapjacks after dispatching the residue of evil the morning after a bender.  Mmm, flapjacks. 

The officers then used their Tasers on Evans, but the shock did not immediately subdue the 6-foot-4 Dolphin, according to the arrest affidavit. The officers called for backup as Evans grabbed a bicycle locked to a signpost. Officers told him to let go; he wouldn't. He was Tasered again, and finally taken into custody. Meanwhile, a crowd of onlookers gathered on the sidewalk. Traffic was snarled.

They should add a Taser resistance section to the NFL Combine as it would be a great aid to our men and women in blue.  I can see why public attention was transfixed on this event because it's not every day a professional athlete is arrested on Miami Beach.  It only happens about 4 times a week. -KD

(Free flapjacks for Hugh B. Brown for the tip.) 

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