Phillie Phanatic Is Not Phan Phriendly

06.22.10 8 years ago 8 Comments

When you’re a professional mascot known for a gigantic beer belly, it’s probably not a good idea to go around climbing on the thighs of old people. The Phillie Phanatic did just that at a Double-A Reading Phillies game and now he has a woman with two broken knees all up in his business, which kind of reminds me of my old ‘field hockey in gym class’ days.

The Philadelphia Phillies’ mascot, the Phillie Phanatic, stepped on a woman’s thighs while climbing through the stands at a Reading Phillies Minor League game, exacerbating her arthritis and necessitating knee replacements, the woman claims in Philadelphia state court. -Courthouse News Service

I’m just surprised that the Phanatic’s getting sued and it doesn’t have to do with the ATV he’s been shredding on for over a decade. He almost ran me over back in the Veterans Stadium days when he used to roar through around the bowl of the concourse between innings, but that’s probably because I was as tall as a safety cone, and who doesn’t like hitting one of those every once in awhile?

Unfortunately for the Phanatic, this lady’s probably just trying to take advantage of a lovable mascot who just wants to jump around and distract you from the Phillies’ pitiful excuse for a minor league system. I bet she’s been waiting around for the suitable culprit to blame her knee woes on so she can finally get that knee replacement surgery she’s been needing for the past 5 years on someone else’s dime. I would know, I’ve been trying to get someone to sit on my cat for years. Maybe I should invite the Phanatic over.

Remember Phanatic, if you can’t find a partner use a wooden chair.


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