Poker In Your Respective Lane Assignment. One Last Live Straddle

07.16.10 8 years ago 5 Comments

Today’s Action: Day 7. We’re playing down to 27 players today. Media access has been restricted to outside the perimeter of the tables, which really has put me in a bad mood. I really have no idea of what the hell is going on now, aside from internet reports from the few people that actually do have access. Whatever. It’s not like I know any of the people still in this damn thing. Johnny Chan? Gone. Scotty Nguyen? Gone. That Canadian guy that’s somehow balding AND has Bama bangs? He’s out, too.

Of the four Mizrachi brothers that made the money, only Michael “The Grinder” remains. My favorite name on the leaderboard was Fokke Beukers of the Netherlands, which sounds like a porn spinoff of a Matthew Broderick movie. Richard Morgan of Columbus is, at this writing, the last Ohioan left in the tournament. Noted Norwegian Johnny Lodden is still in it, along with a bunch of Canadians that I hope don’t win it. No offense, Canada. I simply prefer to see you fail in everything you do.

Poker Quote Of The Day:

There’s no sorry, baby.

–1998 Main Event Champ Scotty Nguyen, after his chip stack taking a hit after doubling up David Liu. Lui’s Ace-King paired against Nguyen’s pocket queens right before a break in Day 5 action. Lui apologized, to which Scotty responded. via PokerNews.

Semi-Notable Celebrity Sightings To Date: Jason Alexander. Hank Azaria. David Alan Grier. Shannon Elizabeth. Jennifer Tilly. Orel Hershisher. Ray Romano. Rene Angelil. Dennis Haskins. “Stone Cold” Steve Austin. Montel Williams. We might be done with the celeb sightings. And I’m not adding Bruce Buffer to the list, as he is more “quasi-notable” than “semi-notable.”

Top Pair: Dorothy Von Saschen was the second-last woman to be eliminated from the Main Event. I actually had her in a last-longer bet with Paul Ellis, another poker guy here in the media room. He had Breeze Zuckerman, who actually was the last woman standing. I’m holding out hope that Dorothy will be the last woman laying. via Wicked Chops Poker.

Bad Beat Of The Day: The WSOP held a media freeroll for us credentialed media here at the Rio, using the Ante Up For Africa tournament structure. I had amassed a huge chip lead against Serge, one of the faceless foreigners with whom I share space in the media room. Serge moved all-in with Ace-9, and I called with K-J. My Jack of Hearts was the difference, as I hit a runner-runner flush to win the tournament, an iPad, and a ridiculous amount of beef jerky. Suck it, Serge!

Bizarre Prop Bet That’s Actually Kinda Recent: Weight loss among poker players often involves money. Sick, sick amounts of money. Ted Forrest lost 50 pounds in less than two months, which is just about insane on every level…until you consider the fact that he pocketed about $2 million from his friends. I wonder now if Ted will celebrate with a bowl of macaroni…lemme finish…salad.

I appreciate those of you that have read these columns and enjoyed them, or simply tolerated them as alternative programming for this site. If you’d like more of this, you can always go to my dedicated Facebook page at As always, thanks for reading. –JZ

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