The Bob’s Burgers writers must have a field day when it comes to dreaming up dialogue for the most relatable 13-year-old sex-driven hopeless romantic on television — Tina Belcher. She says everything most of us thought while walking through the hallways of junior high and high school, and in turn, seems more and more like we’re reading a page out of our own journal/diary each episode. With that in mind I’ve gathered some of her best quotes that we should all be using in everyday, because butts!
“Uhhh.”
Everyday use: When things aren’t exactly going as planned.
“Your ass is grass and I’m gonna mow it.”
Everyday use: When it’s inevitable that you’ll win them over.
“I’m a smart strong sensual woman.”
Everyday use: Self-affirmation.
“Time for the charm bomb to explode.”
Everyday use: When you’re pumping up your confidence.
“My heart, my heart.”
Everyday use: When there’s no pizza left for you.
“My crotch is itchy.”
Everyday use: When you want to get out of work.
“I’m no hero, I put my bra on one boob at a time like everyone else.”
Everyday use: When you want to put on a humble front.
“Our toaster is also confused. It doesn’t know where bagels go.”
Everyday use: When you’re relating your struggles to home appliances.
“I’ve logged over 3,000 fantasy hours on my relationship.”
Everyday use: When you know exactly how your relationship will play out.
“Just when I think I’m out, those cheeks pull me right back in.”
Everyday use: When you’re reminded of why you had a crush on someone in the first place.
“Dad, I need you to drop everything and shave my legs.”
Everyday use: When there’s no one else to ask!
“Is it possible to be in love with 25 people at once?”
Everyday use: When everyone you see is looking good.
“Oh it’s okay, I guess I wasn’t meant to have a good life.”
Everyday use: When nothing is coming up you.
“If boys had uteruses they’d be called duderuses.”
Everyday use: When you think you’re on the brink of scientific discovery.
“If you need me I’ll be down here on the floor dying.”
Everyday use: When no one understands.
“Here’s a bunch of number that may look random, but they’re my phone number.”
Everyday use: When your mouth is moving faster than your brain.
“I’m gonna write the most erotic, graphic, freakiest friend fiction ever.”
Everyday use: When you’re feeling frisky.
“If he has a butt for touching and lips for kissing, I’m going for that.”
Everyday use: When you’re not aiming too high.
“If we see any mermaids I’m gonna ask them where their merginas are.”
Everyday use: When you want to know the truth.
“Butts”
Everyday use: BUTTS.
