All The Bender Quotes ‘Futurama’ Fans Should Still Be Using To Keep The Alcoholic Robot Immortal

11.17.14 4 years ago 17 Comments
As far as foul-mouthed alcoholic robots go, Bender is pretty hard to beat. For seven seasons on Futurama he told us to bite his shiny metal ass, and promised us theme parks with blackjack and hookers. In an effort to keep what should be his immortal words alive, here are twenty Bender quotes that every Futurama fan should know by heart.

1. “This is the worst kind of discrimination there is: the kind against me!”

From “War Is The H-Word,” when he is unable to buy gum with a military discount.

2. “I guess if you want children beaten, you have to do it yourself.”

From “The Route Of All Evil,” disappointed that Hermes and the professor won’t take harsher action against their sons.

3. “Hahahahaha. Oh wait you’re serious. Let me laugh even harder.”

From “Love And Rocket,” when Leela asks him if he has any respect for his girlfriend’s feelings.

4. “There. Now no one can say I don’t own John Larroquette’s spine.”

From “The Luck Of The Fry-rishh,” on a fruitful grave-robbing trip.

5. “I’ll build by own theme park. With black jack, and hookers. In fact, forget the park!”

From “The Series Has Landed,” after being kicked out of Luna Park

6. “The game’s over. I have all the money. Compare your lives to mine and then kill yourselves!”

From “A Head In The Polls,” enjoying the money he made from selling his body.

7. “That’s closest thing to ‘Bender is great’ that anyone other me has ever said.”

From “Ghost In The Machines,” hearing Fry’s touching epitaph for him.

8. “I’m Bender, baby! Oh god, please insert liquor!”

From “How Hermes Requisitioned His Grovveback,” after finally having his artificial intelligence turned back on.

9. “Hey sexy mama, wanna kill all humans?”

From “I, Roommate,” having a dream that frightens Fry just a little bit.

10. “You know what cheers me up? Other people’s misfortune.”

From “The Devil’s Hands Are Idle Plaything,” basking in Leela’s misfortune.

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