NOTE: I’ll open a SPOILER thread at the bottom of this post’s comments section. Please contain all “upcoming on GoT” talk to there. If you mention something that hasn’t happened on the show yet outside of said thread, you’ll be banned. The only way to be unbanned: giving me all your dragons. No dragons, no dice.
The (kind of) king is dead. I was surprised that last week’s episode didn’t end with Smoke Demon stabbing Renly like he was one of Robert’s bastards. I wish it had because some drive was lost by the killing time beginning “The Ghost of Harrenhal.” TV shows are built (and rely) on momentum, and Davos leading Melisandre to, and then watching her give birth in, that dank crypt was a great scene. Suspense was high, the mystery unknown. But having it a week later, after reading so many recaps (hi!) and throwing out so many theories and having to amp yourself up again, took away some of the importance of Renly’s murder.
That’s not to say watching a just-birthed demon kill a man, followed by Don’t-Call-Her Lady Brienne going absolutely ape sh*t on Renly’s soldiers, wasn’t good. It was, because “Game of Thrones,” in case you hadn’t heard, is a very, very good show. But, for the first time this season, I felt like: this could have been better. (Them’s the breaks when you have 28 different stories happening at once.) Or maybe I’m just pissed that Renly’s not around anymore. He had my vote. Elsewhere, Arya’s awesome, Tyrion’s planning something explosive (MUCH more on that later), and Dany should always wear pretty blue dresses.
- Seriously, Brienne went mental. She was also good with her sword.
- Meanwhile, Margaery continues to rock the ice cream cone dress look. I like it. (I also want to spell her name as Magary every time, and now I’m imagining a conversation between her and Sex Cannon. Make it happen, KSK.)
- Feels like this season is going to boil down to Lannisters and their Wildfire (courtesy of the Pyromancers) vs. Stannis’s forces. Was that a crappy pun? Perhaps. Will it be awesome, if true? YES. Also: never piss on Wildfire.
- Heh, “Demon Monkey.” A fitting nickname, considering that King’s Landing walking scene reminded me of Aladdin.
- Speaking of: for saving Jaqen H’ghar’s life, Arya is allowed three wishes, and by wishes, I mean she can instruct H’ghar to kill three people. The first victim: the Tickler. He won’t be tickling anyone where he’s going.
- Judging by Tumblr, females reacted to Gendry taking his shirt off the way males did Alison Brie’s sexy Santa dance.
- Theon, the captain of the aptly named Sea Bitch, has something big in mind for his former home, Winterfell.
- Dany’s scenes were some of my favorites. It’s nice having her out of the desert, and able to converse with people who aren’t Jorah and her handmaidens. Not that they aren’t interesting, but there wasn’t any conflict in the Red Waste, other than, “Will they get out alive?” The stuff in Qarth is much better,
- Doesn’t Duck Sauce (or Daxos, for you traditionalists) look like a fat Idris Elba?
- Pyat Pree shouldn’t be allowed within 100 feet of women and children.
- Cat gets little mention in these recaps, but she’s been amazing this season.
- Attractive Women of “Game of Thrones” Power Rankings, Episode 5: #5. Cersei, #4. Osha, #3. Irri, #2. Margaery, #1. Daenerys
RIP. (Via)
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More like Game of BORING, amirite? (Via)
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