Gob Bluth Lines That Will Help You Bounce Back From Your Next Huge Mistake

Arrested Development‘s Gob Bluth may be loathed by both of his parents, but Will Arnett’s egotistical idiotic character has quickly become a fan favorite despite the fact that he has no purpose, scruples, or skills. If he’s not failing as a magician, he’s probably killing doves, [bleeping] the business model (actually, they just made out), participating in escalating dares, or releasing killer quotes into the world like a trained seal with a taste for blood.

So, why not crank up “The Final Countdown,” and check out some of Gob Bluth’s best lines.

“Come on!”

“Illusion, Michael. A trick is something a whore does for money… or cocaine.”

“I’ve never admitted to a mistake.” (Laughs)

“I’ve made a huge mistake.”

“For the same reason that you should believe that a $100 bill is no more than 100 pennies!”

“Please refrain from discussing or engaging in any sort of inter-office (bleep) or (bleep -ing), or finger (bleep) or (bleep-sting) or (bleep-esting) or even (bleeping), even though so many people in this office are begging for it. And if anybody does anything with my sister Lindsay, I’ll take off my pants, I’ll shave my (bleep), and I’ll personally (really lonnnnnnng bleep).”

“I’m a failure. I can’t even fake the death of a stripper.” 

“I know what an erection feels like, Michael. No, it’s the opposite. It’s like my heart is getting hard.”

“Taste the happy, Michael! Taste it!” […] “You taste these tears! You taste my sad, Michael!”

“Why go to a banana stand when we can make your banana stand? I give you Barbara and Dee! Don’t worry, these young beauties have been nowhere near the bananas.”

“If I can’t find a horny immigrant by then, I don’t deserve to stay here.”