Back in October, FX ordered a 10-episode miniseries about the O.J. Simpson trial from Glee and American Horror Story producer Ryan Murphy. Titled The People v. O.J. Simpson, the miniseries premieres in 2016 and will be the first of a true crime anthology titled American Crime Story.
From the Hollywood Reporter:
The project will a look at the O.J. Simpson trial told from the perspective of the lawyers, and is poised to explore the chaotic behind-the-scenes dealings and maneuvering on both sides of the court. More significantly, it will display how a combination of prosecution confidence, defense wiliness and the LAPD’s history with the city’s African-American community gave a jury what it needed: reasonable doubt.
Yes, fine. This is all great and wonderful. I am sure Ryan Murphy will handle the O.J. Simpson trial with the subtlety and grace he is known for. But now — NOW — we need to talk about the official cast photos that were released yesterday. And by “talk about,” I mean “rank from least to most hilarious.”
Away we go.
Courtney B. Vance as Johnny Cochran
I can’t tell if it’s just the signature glasses and mustache, but, I mean, does Courtney B. Vance look an awful lot like Johnny Cochran or what? Only hilarious in that it appears to be pretty accurate. Moving on.
Cuba Gooding, Jr. as O.J. Simpson
Please note Cuba Gooding, Jr.’s charcoal mock turtleneck and serious “I was just charged with murder, you guys” acting face. I hope he has no dialogue for the entire series and just sits at the defense table like that for 10 hours.
Billy Magnussen as Kato Kaelin
lol kato
Sarah Paulson as Marcia Clark
Okay, this one isn’t really Sarah Paulson’s fault. Those tight Marcia Clark curls are not super flattering on anyone, and they’re kind of a punchline on their own at this point. See also, Tina Fey in Unbreakable Kimmy Schmidt and literally any poodle.
David Schwimmer as Robert Kardashian
The funniest thing about this picture, and it is something that has been making me giggle since the casting was announced, is that god dang Ross from Friends is playing Kim Kardashian’s dad. What an incredible time to be alive, truly.
John Travolta as Robert Shapiro
Haahahahahahahahaha
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
JOHN TRAVOLTA WHAT ARE YOU DOING? WHAT IS GOING ON IN THAT BIG BEAUTIFUL HEAD OF YOURS? DID THE PHOTOGRAPHER TELL YOU TO DO THAT OR IS THAT JUST HOW YOU THINK LAWYERS LOOK WHEN THEY ARE THINKING? OH GOD. OH MY GOD. LOOK AT YOU, YOU WONDERFUL BASTARD. YOU JUST SOLD ME ON THIS WHOLE SERIES. I’LL WATCH. I’LL WATCH IT ALL.
